4 years go by...like that.

Today is my last day at my job. I wrote about my job here last year. I've been through a lot at this job - grown professionally and personally, and I also got married, had a baby, and learned how to be a working parent. I cherish the memories I have of this place and feel lucky to have started my career at such a wonderful organization with truly kind people who care about making a difference. Of course I will miss the work, but I'll also miss the people - as crazy as they make me, they are what made this place have heart. And it's hard to leave behind such excellent and caring colleagues! Here's hoping I get as lucky next time.

I have next steps sort of lined up. Things are in the works. I'll be sharing more here next week. Stay tuned.

Hawaii

Last month I had my first Hawaii experience. I had a meeting in Honolulu and extended my trip a few extra days to drive to Lanikai Beach and the North Shore. I had never been crazy about the thought of Hawaii, maybe because it's a 10 hour flight from DC and I consider myself more of a Europe lover than an island junky. I'm willing to admit I was wrong.
Here are the thoughts I can't get out of my head after the trip:
Why do live in DC when I could live in a beautiful place like this?
If I lived in Hawaii I would live an active lifestyle of surfing, kayaking, paddleboarding, and running. It's so beautiful, all the time, and everyone is always moving around and EVERYONE LOOKS AMAZING. It's inspiring.
Another thing - there is some really great food in Hawaii. It's easy to eat healthy - so many fresh fruits and veggies - but it's just as easy to eat shave-ice, pork, and gorge on traditional Hawaiian food. Also, macadamia nuts, the end.
Warm beaches, perfect water temperature, water clear enough to snorkle in and see the beautiful coral reef and tropical fish.
I love Hawaii. It's just like everyone said it would be, and now that I've dipped my toe in it, I'm going to work it into my life plan to live in Hawaii for some part of my life.

Now onto the good stuff...

The first couple days we spent in Honolulu. I didn't get much beach time, but we did stay at a cute little hotel right on Waikiki Beach. I woke up around 4:30am since I had crazy jetlag and would go for long runs on the beach. Super super my favorite thing ever.

 

 The trees were beautiful, too. I loved all the different varieties, especially these beautiful Banyan trees with their aerial roots that grow into the ground.

  

  

We had meetings at the Hawaiian Capitol building, which is awesomely shaped like a volcano. The very top of the building is the governor and Lt. Governors offices, and there are 360 degree views to see the mountains on one side and the ocean on the other. I've never seen such a stunning Capitol building! 

  

We drove to Lanikai Beach, one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, where we relaxed, ate Macadamia Nut Pancakes at Kimo and Boots, kayaked to Flat Island, ate shave-ice at Hawaiian Snow and just reveled in our luck to be at this beautiful beach. 

 

 We stayed on the North Shore and visited Sunset Beach and Sharks Cove (for snorkeling). We airbnb'd a little studio apartment off someones huge beachside home, which had everything we needed, including snorkel gear, a gorgeous bathroom, 2 beds, and the Hawaiian grammys on TV. Perfect. :)

 This is Sunset Beach, at sunset. Cliched? Maybe. Perfect? Yes. We watched the surfers ride out the last of the waves at dusk. I wanted to die.

 

We visited Haleiwa for good food. We had breakfast at Cafe Haleiwa (huevos rancheros, but the pancakes looked amazing!), lunch at Ted's Bakery (chocolate pie and a malasada!), and dinner at Opal Thai Food, the most amazing thai food I've ever eaten. The owner comes to each table and asks you what flavors you like, your favorite thai dishes, then brings out several dishes for you to try. It was off the chain delicious.

 

The last day in Hawaii, we spent lounging on Sunset Beach before our 8:00PM flight home. It was the perfect wrap-up to a perfect trip! Hawaii, I hope to visit you again!

 

heavy heart.

getting ready for his big day with nanny. in a rare sleeping moment.

every morning we bundle up mr. henry for his short little trip to the nanny. and every morning he is SO CUTE it hurts to drop him off. he just stares at us with his charming smile and pretty blue eyes, like "aww, cmon guys, dontcha wanna spend all day with me again??" heart. breaks.
we had a crazy day/night yesterday due to the time change. someone didn't want to nap all day, and woke up all night last night. (we are reading books on sleep training and plan to start in a couple of weeks once we have our plan written out.) so dropping baby off at the nanny this morning was extra hard because i knew he was tired, and i was tired, and he had a little tear just hanging out in his eye, waiting to pour down his face.
and i gave him a kiss, waved goodbye, and got back to the car and just started crying. today was really hard.
so i take breaks every 15 minutes to look at pictures or videos of henry. it's the only thing that gets me through the day. this video of henry watching his cousin, jake (only 6 weeks younger than hen!) was taken on sunday morning. isn't jake the cutest?? henry thinks so.

hi.

just popping by to say hello.

1. i'm back at work.
2. i left my phone at home today.
3. i also left my key fob at home so i had to ring the bell to get into work today, after running up 3 levels of a parking garage.
4. we have moved and life is totally nuts right now, but we have the worlds most supportive family and church congregation and moving was as breezy as it gets. the uhaul was packed and unpacked in about 2 hours. family and friends helped with henry, cleaned our old place, and put away kitchen/linens/set up electronics/closets/beds/cribs in our new place. i feel so lucky to have such a strong support network and to call these amazing people I know my friends and family! we would be in shambles without them.
5. i love henry's chubby cheeks so much i could die.

things coming together. sort of.

yes, we found a new apartment.

we also found a nanny for little Hen. a sweet nanny i am in love with, and can't wait for Henry to speak 2 languages! (or one, for that matter)

kind of learning to multi-task: eat lunch, while putting on makeup, bouncing the baby and squeezing his foot to make him smile, google "sleep training" every other hour.

still can't figure out how people get their babies to sleep through the night?? will this happen?

listening to sharon von etten and wishing we could find a babysitter to sit in our house with a sleeping baby on a saturday night while we go to her concert at the Black Cat (impossible).

met up with some colleagues this week, feeling nervous to go back to work, wishing i cared more about my career...can't think about anything else but baby. i wonder if this will change...

and onto the weekend. another jam-packed saturday filled with errands, errands, errands. just setting up and getting ready for our new life! life as working parents with a sweet babe!

29 weeks. writing my maternity leave plan.

it's time to finally write that maternity leave plan. time to divide my projects like solomon, and figure out the best approach to being away for 16 weeks. i'm feeling very nervous about this, and haven't received much direction from my superiors. any tips on how to successfully leave a job for 4 months and make sure i's are dotted and t's are crossed? i'd really love to hear from you on this!

working + parenting.

NPR is having a series right now, The Baby Project. It's amazing and inspiring!! Nine expectant mothers have come together to discuss birth, parenting, and right now the topic is childcare.

Childcare. Ugh.

You guys, this is going to get a little more personal than I'm used to, but this has honestly been on my mind for about 15 years. And a little more so in the past 5 months. I never knew what I would do when I had a baby - continue working or stay home. I never made the decision because I think it's innately personal and requires a decision made at the point in your life you have children. I never knew the point I'd be at in my career when the babies came along. Now that the time is drawing near, I'm planning to continue working. And it's painful to even think about it. It's all so new to me and thinking about leaving my baby with someone else for 8 hours every day, not to mention learning how to work a breast pump and hoping baby takes a bottle, and all the worries that come along with that - gosh! it's so exhausting!

One of the most comforting things for me is to hear others experiences. Not that I'm clamoring for others advice on how to parent and juggle the work/life balance - but it's helpful to know that other people do it every day. If they can do it, I can do it, too. I'm really looking forward to the series today as it continues talking about childcare. Yesterday the Swedes talked about their parental leave - the parental unit combined gets 480 days per child (to take until they are 8 years old). Per Child. I get a fairly generous maternity leave (16 weeks), but that pales in comparison when you think you could stay at home with your baby the first year of its life.

Can you tell I'm conflicted about this? How do you working moms and dads out there handle the pressures of balancing work and family?

on opposite ends of the world.

lately, every other month we have to spend a couple of weeks on opposite ends of the earth. this time, me in LA, him in UK. it's exciting to travel and share stories of successes and failures in our jobs, but this time around it's exhausting with baby kicks and crazy dreams about having a baby. and missing sharing this experience with my baby daddy - it makes my heart hurt.

i'm just a couple weeks shy of the third trimester and my belly is definitely proof of that! i've been sitting in meetings all week and sit up so straight when i feel the sudden, strong movements of this little baby inside of me. last night i dreamed i had the baby and (a girl) and i was cradling her in my arms for so long, feeling so unprepared to take care of this baby but so happy to have her with me. it was sweet, but i woke up thinking "time to get ready. it is time!"

it's crazy how quickly the months have flown by these past few months.

the tale of the neverending work day.

once upon a time there was a girl who felt "meh" about her job.
she worked hard, but after about a year she grew tired of the constant complaints from her co-workers, the mindless tasks she was forced to complete, and the persisting feeling that nothing was ever finished.

one day, she decided to go to a work event that would change her outlook not only on her job, but also on life (since let's be honest, life is pretty much focused on job right now). then started a week-long meeting and her attitude was so positive that things around her started to fall into place. projects she needed to complete grew closer to the end. people she needed to be "on board" were on board. and she felt like a new person. more confident, more aware, more plugged-in.

so for 6 long days, she woke with the sun, worked all day and evening, and took cat naps in between. and at the end of it, she felt happy.

how did this all start? oh, it started with ME. telling MYSELF i could do it.
i think one of the hardest things in life is to stay positive in any circumstance, especially when you've been in the "i-give-up" mode for so long. but it's never too late to turn it around. i still have a long way to climb, but i've started the change and i feel so different. it's all about happiness, and doing whatever you can do to get there.

have a happy long holiday weekend, friends.
xo

i cannot wait.

a few things i'm excited about:

1. moving...t-minus 6 days!
2. new boots (TH finally acquiesced thanks to Josh and Robbie's advice. haha)
3. a new business venture -- more news on this next week. i am so excited to share the news with you guys!
4. this stupid meeting being over on friday.

did i tell you i have a big meeting tomorrow, thursday and friday? well, i do. i am just so not excited about work lately. it's depressing. TH and i ran through some ideas last night of things i can do to get through the doldrums of current job, as well as ideas for new jobs.
i have to say, i'm not excited about either option currently.

do any of you have your perfect job? how'd you get it? or what are you doing to work on getting it? xoxo

short weekend.

hotlanta, here i come.

heading to atlanta for a conference. its one of our big ones, and i'm excited to see all my work friends. while i'm down there, hoping to check out the coca cola factory, the aquarium, and the dali exhibition at the high museum of art.

if i'm still alive at the end of next week, please send me a good pat on the back for making it through. these meetings are always pure crazy.

hello world, i am in love with california.

the mission inn, with all its quirks, was a dream. after my meeting and solar tour was over, TH flew in and we kicked it there for the weekend. lots of pool time, lots of hanging out in the spa, and self-restoration. i seriously feel like a different person on this here tuesday.
we spent yesterday driving around santa monica, dropping by UCLA for a trip to in n out (and wow, i loved that campus! time to go back to school??), driving on rodeo drive (TH liked to pronounce it rodeo like cowboy rodeo. funny), and pretending we didn't care about star sightings. but seriously if i had seen suri cruise i would've gawked. the girl dresses better than me, what can i say?
TH left on the red eye last night and now i'm just hanging out for a couple more days in sunny LA.

hooray for feeling better about life. i hope you are, too.

just busy.

we spent the weekend with family. saturday at TH's family, and sunday at my dads with sisters and crew. both remarked that we look exhausted. and let me tell you, we feel it.

i don't want to make a hasty declaration, but i think i might have to take a break from blogging, or atleast substantial blogging, until life settles down a bit. traveling 12 working days out of 21 this month, mostly in the west coast, and developing ulcers as we speak.

i promise i used to be a fun person who had time for dinners and movies with friends and game nights, but we've been cancelling most activities that aren't work or sleep lately. it's just too much, and i'm trying to stay healthy through it all. but i think i caved over the weekend. i'm coming down with a cold or measles or something.

not a great start to monday, but i just have to dive right back in. and i really like the rain today, it's very soothing and calming - something i really really need right now.

i am not a wimp.

just trust me. i thought i was, but after today i think i am learning to be more brave.

hooray!

(image from we heart it)

moving on.

let's share some good news.

1. i bought rain boots last night! for 4 years, i've been wanting green hunter boots, and now that everyone has them i have finally hopped on the trend. i don't even care that everyone else has them because they have been in my heart for 4 years. so.

2. we changed our sheets from stripes to white and now all of our bedding whites/cremes. it is such a calming place to sleep - i just love it.

3. i have really great visiting teachers who made me feel like a million bucks last night. they came at just the right time when i was feeling so down and out about work and turned my day around. hooray.

4. i have fun things planned for every night this week. a couple of dinners, a cocktail party, a girls night, and a movie date with TH. that helps to distract from the stressful days, but of course i know i have to deal with the days in the office.

5. i want to own my job. i want to be good at what i do. and if that means taking on a project that i don't love, i will do it and i will try to do my best at it. so i'm accepting this until something else comes up (but i don't think i'm going anywhere for next summer. if i can hang on for that long!).

these are all good things that have improved my life since yesterdays bomb shell. i can do this. with a lot of prayer and family/friends consulting, i know i can do this.

i'm a sad robot.

work was already killing me and then my boss dropped the news on me this morning that i have to take on another project. i want to cry, i have no idea how i'm going to manage this project on top of everything else i already have!! any suggestions?

on being loco.

i swear i didn't use to be this crazy. i think work is pushing out all my good brains and filling it with "ok, have to find a speaker for this program" or "shoot, did i remember to send the contract to so-and-so?" or "did i make travel arrangements for my trip?".

i'm going out of my mind. how do you manage the work-life balance? i think i do okay most of the time, but recently it's been epic fail. maybe i need an assistant? anyone looking to work for a crazy person (don't most of us already do that anyway)?

oh, you know what would be a blast? tell me some good story about a crazy boss you've had. i have some doozies myself that i'll share next week.

today: new mexico.

off to lovely, dreamy, beautiful new mexico. i have mentioned before how much i love this State, and i am so happy i am getting paid to fly here!

time to eat green chile, spicy chocolate, and sopapillas. and hit up the university for some surprisingly great vintage shopping (where i found my gucci sandals for $40 - originally sold for $400).

xoxo

Travel bug

I really want to get out of DC, seeing as how I haven't left for awhile. I mean, yes I went to New York in December and yes I went to Philly, as well. But I mean like "OUT of dc, out of dc".

My friends and I have been tentatively planning a trip to Europe for March. But I don't think thats going to happen due to some recent changes in job-ular affairs here in DC. Also, I really want to go to Utah and see my babies and my bebes. My sister just moved there and with the exception of my brother and sister-in law in Virginia, all my siblings are currently residing in Utah. I miss them. I want to see them but I don't see things slowing down here at work long enough to get out.
2 major meetings in the next month, 2 long trips for work out-of-town (which won't help to quell the travel bug) in the next couple of months and a possible significant change in my life. I know, I know I am the queen of ambiguity sometimes, but I'll explain if it all pans out.

Basically I wish I had more money and more free time, like every other person in the free world. How unoriginal am I? COME ON!

working my fingers to the bone

I think what I need is a week off of work to focus on school stuff. Work is pretty busy right now, and my life outside work is pretty busy. I could handle one or the other without any problems, but trying to do it together (thats what she said) isn't working.
Only 2 weeks until the GRE and after that christmas vacation!!!

Plus the POTUS just gave the feds the day off for christmas eve! Thank you! Just for that I won't participate in that fruit throwing rally on the Hill.

Now, POTUS, if you would just pass a gosh damn energy bill, then we can really start being friends. I make excellent oatmeal cranberry cookies and I will take you out for tea from time to time.
Think about it.

Love,

Gnomie.