working mom.

I'm planning to write a bit about being a working mom, and making that difficult transition back to work, but I did want to share one thing before I delve into the topic.

We were lucky to find an amazing nanny to take care of Henry (we are part of a nanny share with another family who has an adorable 6 month old girl). How do I know she is amazing? Because she sends me pictures like this:

Henry (on the left) at the park on a cold day. Just hanging out in his way too big bear suit, trying to find his hands. I die laughing every time I look at this photo. There is nothing funnier/cuter than a way too bundled up baby.

hi.

just popping by to say hello.

1. i'm back at work.
2. i left my phone at home today.
3. i also left my key fob at home so i had to ring the bell to get into work today, after running up 3 levels of a parking garage.
4. we have moved and life is totally nuts right now, but we have the worlds most supportive family and church congregation and moving was as breezy as it gets. the uhaul was packed and unpacked in about 2 hours. family and friends helped with henry, cleaned our old place, and put away kitchen/linens/set up electronics/closets/beds/cribs in our new place. i feel so lucky to have such a strong support network and to call these amazing people I know my friends and family! we would be in shambles without them.
5. i love henry's chubby cheeks so much i could die.

goodbye and hello.

our house is a disaster right now. boxes everywhere, picture frames lining the baseboards, furniture dissembled...it's moving weekend!! i cannot wait to go from this...

to this.

and now i can start obsessing over how to arrange our house, and where to put the bridge picture and our coke tin lady, and should the couch face the fireplace or just sit next to it, and should we ditch the TV or not, and where is the best place to buy plants in DC?!

hooray for moves. can't wait to share some pictures of our new digs once we get settled.

ps henry is moving from his bassinet next to our bed to a CRIB in his own room. not sure who will have worse separation anxiety - him or me!

last day.

monday was my last day at home with henry before becoming a working mom. i was nursing him during the day, thinking about how much he eats during one feeding and trying to add up in my head how many bottles i will have to prepare for the nanny, and i just started crying. emotional, sobby motherly crying. i couldn't stand the thought of somebody else getting to spend these sweet moments with him, and it made me a little mad to think about it.

i'm trying to stay positive, and to be honest i wonder if i'll like the separation that will make me appreciate every single moment with him while we are together. we will see.

for our last day together, henry woke up at 4am and didn't want to go back to sleep. maybe he knew and wanted to spend all the time he could with me before i went back to work. haha. when i put him down for his morning nap, i slept a glorious sleep and mark took him when he woke up, so it was a lovely morning of snoozing.

we took a quick trip to stock up on things at Target, then back home to start packing and make meals for the week. we had a celebratory dinner at Cafe Rio with some friends, and put Henry to bed early. it was a perfect day.

3 months!

I'm rotten at keeping a journal lately, so this is my record for baby H. 3 months and counting, where does the time go?

Henry, you are 3 months old now. I know this is so cliched, but I cannot believe how fast time has passed. Weren't you just a little newborn in my arms, us trying to figure out how to survive with each other? Now 3 months later, I'm getting ready to return to work and you will go with your new nanny and we will try to figure out how to survive without each other (at least during the day!)

You have grown up so much in the past month, especially in the past week. We are starting to see peeks of your sweet personality, and I'm dying to see more! You always seem to be focused on something, and will intensely stare at something until we distract you away from it. You like to play with your little baby gym, and dad and mom love to sit next to you and watch you try to laugh and grab the little rings above your head. You are so happy in the mornings, kicking your legs and cooing. When we pick you up, you jump up and down on our laps. I like to pretend its because you missed us all night long.

You still aren't sleeping all that great, you wake up 2-3 times a night to eat, but you go right back to sleep sweetly. You still take 3-4 naps during the day.

You are a CHUNK, weighing in at around 15 1/2 pounds now. You are all cheeks, mister, and I'm convinced that is why you don't smile very often. It must be hard for you, poor thing.

You have a terribly sweet smile and are starting to find your laugh, a little bit. It's all inside your mouth, but we're hoping soon you'll open your mouth and let that laugh out!

You found your hands last week! You stuck out your fists in front of you and just stared at them for a few minutes, and then, you started grabbing at toys and holding them right after that! Baby milestone! We were so proud of you! And now you're an old pro at it.

We finally got a bumbo seat and you cannot get enough of it. You sat in it for 30 minutes today.

You scare easily. In the past week I've accidentally made you jump about 5 times. It's so interesting to see how high you jump out of your chair or your seat - you have so much muscle you don't use!

When you are really sad you stick your lower lip out really far for about 5 seconds, and then the tears come. It's so cute, it hurts.

You are just starting to find the range of emotions you can express. You are rarely mad or sad or happy, but mostly just content or bothered. And when you are bothered you give us the cough cry. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. It's pretty cute, too.

They call this next month the personality month. So, let's see what you got for us little Henry. We love you more and more every day.

right now.

home from eating dinner with in-laws + my mom. love them, and feel so spoiled to have family so close.

i hear a mouse in the utility closet. scratch, scratch, scratch. he'll probably cut the hot water supply off or something, just my luck.

baby is sleeping.

eating cold pancakes from this mornings feast.

looking at my sleeping baby, too afraid to move him from his carseat.

looking at sheets for henry's new crib. i made sheets for his bassinet, but i can't imagine finding the time to make sheets for his crib.

making big plans for my last full week at home before i go back to work. so bittersweet. mostly bitter. i've gone through more emotional transitions in the past year than in my entire life. it's completely nuts.

things coming together. sort of.

yes, we found a new apartment.

we also found a nanny for little Hen. a sweet nanny i am in love with, and can't wait for Henry to speak 2 languages! (or one, for that matter)

kind of learning to multi-task: eat lunch, while putting on makeup, bouncing the baby and squeezing his foot to make him smile, google "sleep training" every other hour.

still can't figure out how people get their babies to sleep through the night?? will this happen?

listening to sharon von etten and wishing we could find a babysitter to sit in our house with a sleeping baby on a saturday night while we go to her concert at the Black Cat (impossible).

met up with some colleagues this week, feeling nervous to go back to work, wishing i cared more about my career...can't think about anything else but baby. i wonder if this will change...

and onto the weekend. another jam-packed saturday filled with errands, errands, errands. just setting up and getting ready for our new life! life as working parents with a sweet babe!

here we go again.

if you've seen me in the past few days, you'll have heard this news already (i'm having trouble staying quiet about it): we are moving!

our friends recently moved to utah (boo!! we miss you guys!) and i casually asked them what they were doing with their house, not thinking anything would really come from it. but i stopped by their house a few weeks ago and it just felt so perfect for us. i was holding my breath for weeks, hoping it would work out, and we are signing the lease tomorrow. hoorah!

our friends moved into the house when they had a little boy henry's age, and when they left they had 2 little boys and a brand new baby girl (named Julie!). so now we get to move in with our sweet little boy and watch him grow with plenty of room to crawl around and bump his head on the doors and fill the rooms with laughter. and who knows, maybe see our family grow a little more in the next few years, too!

we move in just a few short weeks. and here are the things we are excited for:

no more basement

huge windows and lots of natural light

henry gets his own room

we get our own room!

hardwood floors -- goodbye carpet

we get to stay on the Hill, and move closer to our favorite sandwich place on the Hill (Mark is no doubt very pleased about this)

backyard patio

bathtub for baby baths (and mama baths)

lots of storage

oh. mah. goodness. is this what heaven feels like?

moving.

Guess who is moving again...

Nowhere exotic, just a few blocks away. But oh! To have more space! And to leave the dreaded basement!

When i was younger i moved around a lot more. I was much more mobile and enjoyed being able to pack up my car with all my belongings like a turtle, and drive to a new place. Utah, Alaska, New York, Virginia...I was a free spirit.

And now...well, now I'm married. And I'm turning into this adult with stuff. We bought this huge couch. And this table for having dinner parties and stuff (which happen far too few times). Fitting all these things into a one bedroom is a very tricky thing. Plus, this baby has seemed to have made our house shrink to half its size. Acquiring any new piece of furniture or clothing is like a delicate game of Jenga, ready to topple at any moment.

So, we move. We move on, we move up, and we move the hell out. Hopefully I'll know more in the next week, but I've got my fingers crossed for good things!

waking up with henry.

so this is how our 6:30/7:00 am goes.

henry: meh.

...ahhhhaaameh....

...

...

MEH!

me: it's the baby.

mark: wha?

me: the baby.

mark: hmph?

me: the BAYbee.

mark: oh! ok i'll get him...(rolls back over to sleep)

henry: rrrmphhhh....maaaahhh!

me: mark! can you get the baby?

mark: (waking up suddenly) what?

me: henry is awake. can you help him?

mark gets up and shuffles over to henry's bassinet. and i roll over and go back to sleep thinking i can sleep for at least another half hour before mark leaves for work.

henry: MEH!

mark: j, i think he's hungry.

me: meh.

then we snuggle for a little bit while he eats, then he falls asleep on me. and it looks something like this:

(don't worry, he can totally breathe during the faceplant. but this photo makes me laugh so hard.)

the days are long but the weeks are short.

how was he ever so little?

baby is asleep.

he stirs and i want him to stay asleep, but i also want him to wake up so we can cuddle.

laundry is folded.

kitchen is clean.

errands are run.

flowers are on the table.

...a pile of papers are sitting on the table like the leaning tower of pisa.

...a million things to do before the inevitable return to work in a few weeks.

my brain is kind of jumbly right now.

but guess who got a babysitter so she could go on a hot date with her husband tonight?! (thanks papa mickey)

happy weekend!!

10 weeks old: fat baby.

10 weeks of Henry. It's been a TRIP. a terribly fun, lovey, crazy, sleep-deprived, hilarious trip. my heart grows every day i spend with him.

what is henry up to these days?

at his drs appointment today, we found out he is already 14 lbs 6 oz, which is the 90th percentile. yes, he is larger than 90 percent of other babies his size. are you kidding me? height is 50th percentile. i love having a fat baby.

he is really talking a lot lately. sometimes he'll let out a roar so loud, i think wild gazelles will come pouncing through the living room. he wakes up in the morning so happy and babbly. i love it.

he smiles at me, and i die.

he chews on his knuckles because i think he can't seem to find his thumb.

he can't seem to hold onto his pacifier, but he sure does try. same with bottles. he smiles and tries to eat, like it's a game, but it takes him awhile to figure it out.

he is almost out of his 0-3 month clothes. hello, fat baby.

just in the past few days he has started to hold onto my shoulder when i hold him. it's like a constant hug. ugh, crazy love.

he also scratches my back with his little tiny hands when i'm holding him and i'm like, oh you are definitely my baby. he knows mama loves scratchies.

his eyes are looking more blue every day.

he sleeps about 4 hours straight at night time, and takes a few naps during the day. two nights ago he slept for 6 1/2 straight hours and i swear i almost died of happiness. yay.

i'm feeling more confident and connected to him as my baby. he knows me, and the way he looks at me, i mean just stares at me -- it makes my heart burst. we totally have a love connection. this little boy is our life.

all i do is baby stuff.

i didn't think i'd be just writing about henry all the time, but guess what? i don't really do anything else besides being his mom right now, so i really don't have that much else to write about! it's crazy how all-consuming having a baby is. i am still the same person, but i'm no longer just a "me", i'm an "us". even when you're married, you can still end up spending days or even weeks apart. but when you have a baby, good luck even going to the bathroom when you have to. i didn't realize how much my life would completely change. sometimes it is so frustrating, like lately where he's had some gassy-fussy-waking-up-screaming-every-night nights, but i always feel proud to be able to take care of him. to raise him. babies are such interesting beings, and they seem so wise in their simplicity of life. they just want to eat, sleep, and play.

i'm used to life being busy, but babies force you to just...sit.

and make faces.

and bounce.

and do things you never thought you'd do in public. haha.

last week i went on an elimination diet to figure out why henry is having such a miserable time in the gassy department. i went meat-free, dairy-free, gluten-free, corn-free, and cruciferous vegetables free. which pretty much means i ate a lot of potatoes, carrots, beets, and brown rice. the good news is i lost a little bit of weight cutting out breads and cheese, and the other good news of course is that henry is feeling a lot better (minus a mashed potatoes IKEA adventure. sorry henry). i'm pretty sure it's the dairy, so i'm going to start eating bread again. oh, i miss bread. and maybe one of these days i can have brie again. for the love of pete.

sick. sadface.

well, winter has descended upon us and so has cold season. and henry has his first cold. it is the saddest thing to see a baby struggling to breathe with a nose full of stuff! i feel so bad for him, and he just looks at me like, "mom, what the heck is going on? help me!"

we're just laying low and trying to help him get as much rest as possible. pobrecito. i missed out on meeting my newest nephew, jake, who was born the day after christmas. i really want henry and jake to meet while jake is still little tiny newborn because i'm sure the difference will be hilarious. henry is so big already, nearly grown out of his 0-3 month cloths and i'm buying him a briefcase tomorrow so he can get a job and start contributing to this family. seriously though, i can't believe how quickly he's growing up.

any tips on getting through that first baby cold? and helping them get better?

new years eve.

we had the busiest and most fun new years eve!

started the day with mark running a 5K with his sister out in boondocks, virginia.

then we took a little drive out to beautiful skyline drive and ended up in sperryville, va where we found THE best BBQ sandwich i have ever had at high on the hog. even better than willards. i want to go back right now.

we came home and had a little family photo shoot and celebrated the evening with a scrabble game once little man went to bed.

i think it was the best NYE i've ever had. spending so much time with my two boys was a dream, and it was a perfect way to close out the holiday season.

skype date.

today henry and i had our first skype date with my sister laura and her babies. it was so fun to talk with her and elijah and hear evie tell us "no!" for everything. the only thing she said to me besides "no" was "i love you" at the end of the call. i guess she likes playing hard to get. the funniest part of the skype date came when within about 15 minutes, i looked down at my quiet baby sitting on my lap and henry was asleep! what?! you're telling me that the same baby who wants to be bounced to sleep for an hour every night will just fall asleep within minutes on a skype date? that's it, i'm lining up skype dates starting now. so who wants in for tonight?

new year, new us.

my eating theme for this year is grains, beans, and greens.

this is the year i finally learn how to use different grains than just rice and quinoa (does rice count as a grain?)

this is the year i stop eating iceberg lettuce with tomatoes and cucumbers because i'm too nervous to be creative with my salads.

this is the year i start learning how to cook with kale, swiss chard, and all those other crazy leafed greens in the produce section.

and this is the year i finally learn how to cook a pot of beans and stop using all those high-sodium cans. i mean how hard can it be, really?

follow my progress at my food blog to keep me honest. my goal is to cook one new thing a week, and bake one new thing every other week. that is 52 new recipes and 26 new baked goods. i cannot wait to get started!

i have lots of other goals, most of which center around being happier with life. this is a good year, isn't it? twenty twelve. i like the sound of it.

are you even ready?

is 2011 seriously over in a few days? i feel like i say this every year, but seriously how did that happen so fast? how did i end up with a baby at the end of the year? how did i end up falling even more in love with life?

if you would've asked me what i'd accomplish in 2011, i never would have guessed that i would have expanded my family. yet. here we are. 3. THREE.

i'm off to find some sparkly baby hats to help us all ring in the new year. in style. in our little basement apartment. i can't remember the last time i stayed in on new years eve, but i hardly think henry is up for a party at only 7 weeks old...or heck, he stays up all night partying anyway, maybe we should just make it official!

xo

oh ps we had a very merry christmas and mark helped make it so memorable, and well, henry did too with his fat little face (i just LOVE that henry is a chubby baby).

oh and pps i get to do some postpartum shopping now that i'm officially approved to exercise again. it's time to drop these baby pounds. where do normal people shop these days?

silent night...well, kind of.

i made this little video of henry's first two weeks of life spent sleeping. it's our christmas card of sorts. something about sleeping in heavenly peace...

we'll be spending the christmas weekend with family and snuggling with henry. and hopefully making my annual caramel corn and watching old christmas movies. merry christmas!

Henry Lazybones. from julie rowlett on Vimeo.

consumer anxiety.

last minute christmas shopping gives me hives.

luckily, i finished most of my shopping via the internet (what did new moms or ANYone do before online shopping and amazon??), but i still have just a few things left to find.

henry will be my little buddy as we look for those last few things. and today he's going to the doctor and probably won't be very happy about it.

can someone say perfect storm? some people might be getting their christmas a little late this year! i get a free pass for that, right?