Social Experiment #1: Dressing Like a Republican

Sometimes in life, it is necessary to step outside one's comfort zone. I decided today was the day. As I was deliberating on outfit choices last night, I put together a skirt and collared shirt combo. Very cute. As soon as I put it on, however, I realized I looked like a flaming conservative republican. Neatly pressed shirt in a conservative color. A khaki "safe" knee-length skirt. Brown peep-toe stilettos. Conservative jewelry. It all looks pretty good. I mean, I'm wearing it right now and I feel fine.

Here is the interesting part: I have been getting compliments all day...from republicans!! They all love my skirt! The shoes are so cute! So I have decided that this is the first of many social experiments involving politically swayed outfits. Stay tuned. Oh, does anyone have a peace sign necklace and bellbottoms I can borrow?

I liked that last post so much and I like Mike so much that I will dedicate this space to him. Mwhalen50, you are my one and only.

**Editors Note - This post is to be read while listening to the Allman Brothers Bands' Ramblin' Man. It makes it that much more authentic.**

My first big excursion with Mike. On this trip he won the Hairiest Legs competition in Delta Junction and I saw his hindquarters when we sorta skinnydipped in a glacier runoff lake. Soo Hawt.
Inside the holy house of The Blue Marlin. Jim and Mike protected me from the barflys by draping themselves all over me. See the mason jar? What did I tell you.
Hippie in the morning. My favorite thing about Mike is that he professes not to be a hippie, but he bleeds burlap, my goodness. I remember half his head having dreds and the other side just dangled across his face, usually with food particles stuck in the strands. Beautiful.
Only Mike could take a picture like this and make it look completely not contrived. I could imagine hiding in the grass on some mountain top and observing Mike running like that without pretense, oblivious to his surroundings. Once we walked on slackrope behind our dwellings and he kept at it, even when his manhood was endangered. I've never known him to be uncomfortable in any setting, except for maybe a mormon barbq where he couldn't get a hug from a lady who was scared of him. Heh heh.

Mike I love you and I miss you and I sometimes get the pangs of withdrawl and longing for the times of innocence and laughs we had in Alaska. Remember when you got in trouble by David Lee for keeping your bathroom in such a state of filth that nobody would share it with you? And the time we salsa danced at The Dog and you spun us around so fast that we both fell on the ground? Or the time we shared a tent while the two others canoodled a mere 15 feet away from us? But you found the softest mossiest spot for us to lay on because you are kind and a gracious host, even when what you are hosting is a tent in the middle of a campground where you would later melt your frisbee to your car and we would see a duct tape display of private parts. I'm moving to DC and accepting roommates. And for you, I extend a free standing invitation to sleep in my apartment for as long as you would like, with the understanding that you will once again bring excitement and oddity and drunken antics into my life. Muchos Besos.

Love,
Gnomie

Monday

Sometimes when you are having a Not So Good Day, it helps to see/hear the following:

1. A chubby old man pushing his car door open with so much gusto just to stand up quickly enough to reach his doting girlfriend and give her a big loud Mmmmwahh! smack on the lips. Then he holds her hand and helps her into the drivers seat.

2. An ugly baby in a stroller looking at you with his eyes a little bit crossed. He is so happy and that makes him a million times more adorable than any Gerber baby I've ever seen. This baby's got character.

3. A bluegrass banjo-y song came on my iPod and it reminded me of being in Alaska with Mike and with Boot (yes, his name was actually Boot). Mike and I would do the boot dance (which had nothing to with the human being Boot) and kick up our heels and link arms and drink drink drink out of mason jars all night long. The tables were covered with polished stones and the floors were a blackened mess from all the years of dancing and drinking and sweating and spilling. And Boot would come steal me away and we'd swing around and get all sweaty and everything was so spinny and beautiful. And Boot had a truck with the word Hillbilly spray painted on the back and a dog in the truck with only 3 legs. I loved Boot. And walking down the busy streets of DC thinking about your days spent with Boot and Mike and hippy dancing in small Alaskan bars called The Howling Dog and The Marlin can really put a smile on your face.
The Boot Dance, at the annual Anderson Bluegrass Festival.

Violent Dreams

I had the worst dream the other night. I can't stop thinking about how disturbing it was.

So my sisters and I are all hanging out in this room, talking and having a great time. The room is an average sized room, maybe a salon or foyer type of room. We are talking when out of nowhere, someone bursts through the door waving a gun around. We all scream, scared and unsure of what to do, when I take a look at the gunman. It's my brother. He starts shooting all of us and we are screaming and trying to find furniture to hide behind when I realize - he is shooting blanks. So we grab him and try and settle him down. That is when my other brother walks in and surveys the room and what is taking place. My brother, the gunman, sees him and starts shooting. Except this time, he is not shooting blanks. He shot him about 5 times and blood was spurting out everywhere. The look on my brothers face was one no sister should ever see. He fell back with this Frodo look on his face and was grabbing his stomach where blood was now gushing out all over the carpet. We all ran over to him crying and trying to calm him down. But we couldn't. I'm totally creeped out over this dream. It's haunting my days and my nights.

Why would I ever have a dream like that? Have you guys ever had any awful violent dreams like this? I'm totally going to therapy because this surely makes me an insane person.

You can't make this stuff up

Jack Kevorkian, the infamous best friend of many suicidal human beings, is being released from jail after serving an 8 year sentence for assisting assumed terminally ill patients die with dignity. But many of those people who died were not terminally ill. Thus enters more ethical debates on euthanasia practices.

In the AP Press Release, Jack is said to have promised to never help another person in an assisted suicide. Interesting promise. I can't recall having made such a promise in my lifetime, but maybe we should all start signing such waivers when we pass a certain age. What is the age limit at which time you become responsible for Knowing Better than to help someone kill themselves?

It is good to know, however, that Dr. Death (as he is known to close friends and family) is looking forward to the normal things in life. As one friend who is close to him revealed, he is planning on partaking of grapes...apricots...pistachios. He loves pistachios.

Awww. Dr. Death! You are so cute and personable, aren't you? You know, even crazed maniacal death assisters aren't so bad. In fact, after seeing this in the news article I decided I would dig a little deeper to find The Person Behind Dr. Death. Someone I'd like to call "Jacky".
This is Jacky on the cover of his jazz album. Did you know he was a jazz flautist? Just like this guy... In fact, not only is he a talented flautist but an artist in general.

He has painted many oil paintings. One of these paintings even ended up on an album cover from that popular band, Acid Bath.

Pretty. I like it Jacky. You are so quirky.

I think the event in his lifetime that probably has proven most frustrating is his failed investement. He quit his job and invested his LIFE SAVINGS into a project to produce and direct a film based on Handel's Messiah. He was unable to find anybody willing to distribute the film, thus losing everything.

Maybe thats what pushed him over the edge. Maybe it was the loss of his favorite Handel score and dreams of breaking into the Biz that allowed him to look past the moral implications of assisting suicides. I can't say. But what I will say is that I'm buying his jazz CD as soon as I can scrape together some cash.

recovery

Guys.

So I spent the weekend at the beach and it was so AWESOME and whatnot. But here's the thing. It made me realize how much I hate not being at the beach. And how much I hate NOT sitting out in the sun all day. And how much I hate being forced to sit at a desk all day long. And the worst part? My face got all burnt and now my cheeks are red and my forehead is peeling. I look like Robert Redford and the Marlboro Man's lovechild.
*Sigh. And I miss Jeremiah Johnson.

Pick your favorite #2

Or...

Pick your favorite #1

Which video is pure gold? I can't decide. They are both life changing.

Interesting veggies

There a vote taking place on the PETA website for sexiest vegetarian. Yes, I think its great to be vegetarian and yes, I'm happy these people are socially aware of the implications and all. However, it's always interesting to note the people who decide to go this route. Some are funny, some are really seriously smokin hot, and some are just...lying. So, I have compiled a list, seperated into categories of some of the contenders for this years Sexiest Vegetarian Celebrity


1. Blast from the Past

Jonathan Taylor Thomas (JTT!)
Emmylou Harris
Jennie Garth
Noah Wyle
Q-Tip
Kenny Loggins

2. Doesn't eat meat, but still a meathead

Alec Baldwin
Benji Madden
Don Imus (prob went veg after pressure from his PR people.)
Woody Harrelson
Casey Kasem (star of Saved by the Bell)


3. Only doing it for the year to be entered in the contest, thus receiving recognition despite complete career failure. (including fact that they are probably only vegetarian because of their sole consumption of beer nuts and expired Schlitz)
Boy George
Bryan Adams
Little Richard
Michael Bolton

4. Hot, hot, hot. I'm considering us the best of friends because of all the things we have in common (like our shunning of meat product)

David Duchovny
Rivers Cuomo
Morrissey
Natalie Portman
Esai Morales
Joaquin Phoenix
Weird Al Yankovic (what?)
Nomadic Gnome

There you have it, folks. Go check out the website and vote for your favorite! Don't forget Samwise Gamgee! Hobbits are vegetarians, too!

Dilemna

Today my coworker brought these in
But all that did was make me want these instead
What is a girl to do? Guess I will be buying waxy chocolate wafers today.

Wait for it.

My sacrifice.

Sometimes, when a friend finds himself in trouble, you have to reach out With Arms Wide Open.

Projects

In the wake of my recent loss, I am in the process of rebuilding the good in my life. I have been wanting to start some projects for awhile, but haven't made the time. Now without the ability to hop in a car and waste my time driving around, I have much more free time on my hands to do what I please.

Project 1:
Plant a garden.
We have a really great space in our backyard for planting and reaping bountiful harvests of tomatoes, peppers, beans, peas, squash and flowers for the bees. It's the perfect time to plant and I may even start a little herb garden on my windowsill. Though, last time I did this my roommate knocked the window garden over twice! She was kind of a whore though, so I'm not worried about that happening again, as she recently got married.

Project 2:
Buy old furniture and learn to reupholster.
This is the project I've been thinking about for awhile. I don't imagine it would be too hard to learn, but I'm afraid it will look a little sloppy due to the fact that I am a novice. There is a really great antique spot that I'm looking forward to visiting soon. I'm sure I could find some amazing pieces there.

Project 3:
Create a recipe book.
I have a bunch of recipes I've tried from recent parties, dinners, and create-your-own-dessert nights. I really want to take all of these recipes, use some adhesive to set them in a book and bind my own cookbook. I should also take pictures so I know how delicious my recipes were! I find pictures always make everything a bit more appetizing. Using a cookbook without pictures is like going to the Manassas Mall on a Friday night. You're a little nervous going into it and the results are never ever what you had hoped for. You just shouldn't do it.

I'm looking forward to starting these summer projects! I would love some expert advice/tips on how to complete these ventures. Good advice is hard to find these days.

A Match made in heaven

Went to his book signing last week. He's such a charismatic man. Too bad he bats for the other team. They take away so many good ones...

Why have children when you can have this

This is honestly the most darling bicycle I've ever laid my eyes on. This bike was made in Portland with love and fury. Check it out here.

I'm switching over.

I'll take the bus, thank you.

Friday was great. Went to artomatic with Iggy and Best Friend. Saturday was spent shopping with mom for mothers day. We had some delicious salads for lunch and I went home to meet up with an old friend to go mountain biking.

My first biking experience was in a word, thrilling. One minute you are pedaling your brains out, trying to get up a steep hill and the next you are tensing up every muscle in your body, in an effort to keep your bike under control and to uh...stay alive. But I didn't crash at all. Which, as my friend explained, meant I was just too careful. Maybe next time.

Saturday night was spent at my friends housewarming party. I learned if you ask someone for money, they will give it to you without questions! Who knew I had such generous friends?

And then...Sunday. The weather was perfect. I was able to catch up with old friends and meet some new ones. Fast forward to 9:03 PM. Company is at the house and we're all sharing jokes and laughter and I'm sure warm fuzzies, when we hear screeching tires and grinding metal. We immediately ran outside to be nosy neighbors and to behold this:


Bloody hell.

As we were running outside, and while Joe was hopping over the fence like Walker, Texas Ranger to kick some rear, the guy who hit my car SPED OFF down the street! A hit and run...I was amazed at his bravado. One of our neighbors took off down the street to get try and get his tag information. Though, he really didn't need to. About 3 blocks up the road, the intoxicated driver lost control of his car and after side swiping 4 cars, ended up here:
Right here:
He had left a minor piece of his car behind him,
but continued on in determination leaving a blazing trail that would put any fireworks show to shame. Well done. I'm always saying when you go out, go out in style.
Ruby was taken to the big vehicular cloud in the sky.
A little part of me died last night. Lots of road trips with Ruby. When I was homeless for a few weeks, I camped out in the back. I looked all over for the perfect car and found Ruby by a lucky turn on a random street in Salt Lake. We had a good run, Ruby. You will be missed by many. Iggy. Best Friend. Chesty Laroo. You are gone, but not forgotten.

5/13/07 Never Forget.
Ruby, in happier times. Taken the week after I brought her home.

Waking up today was totally worth it.

The close ups. The profile shots. The air keyboards. I'm at a loss for words.

Blinded

She was swimming in a pool of paper. Strangled by deadlines, blinded by LCD light, Deafened by the buds of music filling her ears.
In an instant, it all seemed nonsense. Families unable to pay heat bills and she wanted to buy $50 designer pencil holders. What happened to her dedication and passion for helping others? What of her love for travel and education?

Is this it means to be in The Real World? Then, she thinks, I will happily exist in my idealistic world of possibility and social virtue.

Achtung! All people who love thursdays

Let's first begin by reviewing why Thursdays are so fantastic.
1. Day after hump day.
2. It's Friday's Eve.
3. The Office
4. Thursday is the new Friday. (I mean, really. Who actually works on Friday anymore?)

Ok, clearly I can't think of great reasons why Thursdays are one of my favorites of the week. Maybe it all stems from my adolesence when Thursday nights were filled with Friends and Seinfeld. Or maybe it comes from my love for Last Thursdayism.

Anyway whatever the reason, there is now a solid foundation upon which to build your love to the Thursday shrine.
Thursday is Swedish Pea Soup and crepes day!!!

In the days of yore, Swedes would eat a filling meal of Pea Soup and Swedish crepes on Thursdays as a method of preparing for the Catholic day of fasting on Friday. It was so prevelant in the culture, pea soup was even eaten by Royalty. History tells that a king, Erik the 14th, was killed eating Yellow pea soup that had been poisoned. Thats gotta be some thick soup to cover up the poison. Yumm.
As the country and culture disassociated itself from religious rituals, it continued to thrive. And, hello, I'm not surprised at all. Pea soup? Good. Crepes? Good. Swedish Thursdays? Gooooood.

Please join me every Thursday for a steaming bowl of hearty pea soup and a healthy plate of Crepes and Jam. And if you think pea soup/crepe thursdays are awesome, than check out Pink Thursdays, AKA Maundy Thursdays. Kids dressing up as witches, Bonfires, Halloween-esque Easter celebrations...I need to move to Sweden.

My quarter life crisis.

Now that I am officially 25 as of 2:02 this morning, I feel good. I've been apprehensive for this age. When I was younger, 25 year-olds always seemed to have it together. They were in careers, they were starting to get married and in some cases have children. They were knowledgeable about politics and the affairs of the world. They went on expensive vacations with their other overpaid friends of the professional world.

I can see how completely wrong I was about 25 year-olds, seeing as how I have none of those things. Fortunately, I have been richly blessed with an amazing family, caring and supportive friends, and opportunities to grow and learn about the world around me. Indeed, I feel very fortunate in my life and I always find my birthdays are a good time to reflect upon these times.

The highlights of my 24th year in sequential order:
1. Completing a cross country trip with Best Friend.
2. Getting my Dad and Mom to try sushi
3. Successful summer in Fairbanks, Alaska, including fire fighters, Jodi and the girls, My first Eskimo Olympics, getting chased by a moose, camping above the Arctic Circle, and several bluegrass festivals.
4. Jumping off a riverboat into icy waters of Alaska
5. Kayaking through the Prince William Sound
6. Another cross-country trip with my best friend, Leslie, through the southern states.
7. Knitted a blanket for my niece, E Squared.
8. NYC for new years!
9. Got a job {not really sure if this counts as highlight}
10. Reunion with my brother, sisters and parents for blessing of E Squared. (But we missed the Charlottesville Rowletts!)

Can't wait to see what this year will bring!

Linked

These men, though worlds apart, must be connected somehow. There is something in their eyes, something indistinguishable, that speaks to my soul. There are some amazing stories to be shared.

Tagged.

Thanks, Iggy. This successfully wasted 10 minutes of my work day. Every little bit helps.

Four jobs I have had in my life -
1. Retirement Home “waitress” (my first job at 14)
2. Baker. I made the scones and the cookies.
3. Pizza delivery girl
4. Office Rat, or Collation Specialist

Four movies I watch over and over again -
1. Motorcycle Diaries
2. Amelie
3. Lord of the Rings {I'm also a nerd, Iggy}
4. Waiting for Guffman

Four places I have lived -
1. Virginia - Manassas
2. Utah
3. Alaska
4. Virginia – Arlington

Four television shows I watch -
1. The Office. I'm hooked
2. Grey’s Anatomy. It comes on right after The Office. So convenient. So scandalous. So…je ne sais quoi.
3. Seinfeld
4. Friends {on DVD}

Four places I have gone on vacation -
1. Grand Canyon
2. Kenai Peninsula, AK
3. France. Not a huge fan. I prefer to call it “Freedom”.
4. Mazatlan, Mexico

Four websites I visit daily -
1. Friends' blogs
2. CNN
3. Gofugyourself
4. Travelocity

Four of my favorite foods -
1. spicy thai curry
2. spicy Indian curry
3. spicy Mexican food
4. brown sugar-cinnamon poptarts

Four places I'd rather be right now -
1. running a trail in Alaska
2. Sticky Fingers Bakery
3. The E street cinema
4. laying on a warm beach, getting cancer

Five people I tag -
1. Nobody. I’ve had enough of this Tagging business.

LE LOUP!

There are 3 things crucial to enjoying an awesome show on a school night.
1. Energy Drink
2. A good show buddy
3. Rockin hot music This is Le Loup, a new band from the DC area. Their sound is reminiscent of Polyphonic Spree, Animal Collective and The Anniversary. But their sound is definitely all their own! I have seen 2 out of 3 of their shows and hoping to make it to their show this Saturday. Go Le Loup!!!

look, I know.

I KNOW. I keep making empty promises of forthcoming blogs. I just downloaded my pictures and I've got some real winners. I mean it. So stay tuned. I do have a lot to say, honest.

In the mean time, you should know that I slept 15 hours on Friday night and spent most of Sunday baking and cooking and throwing an awesome party for Shane D's departure. Was the weekend a success? That is a gross understatement. My weekend was amazing.
And tonight if all goes well, I will be attending the Peter, Bjorn and John concert with Iggy.
The week leading up to my birthday is promising many opportunities to say goodbye to 24 and hello to 25!

Can you read my mind.

Hello. Apparently me and Cort of the famed Mollygood site are on the same wavelength. Yesterday I posted about Reality Bites and heavily swooned over Ethan Hawke and he gives me this.
And I thought all my good karma was dried up.

Sex is the quickest way to ruin a relationship, Lainy. C'mon.

I have a very strong desire to watch Reality Bites right now. My life is really taking a turn for the mundane ever since I've been fighting the desire to hop on the next flight back to Alaska.
If you haven't seen the movie, I suggest you do.
1. Winona Ryder pre-Marc Jacobs spokesperson era.
2. Ethan Hawke as a lead vocalist and adorable angst-ridden young adult.
3. Strong associations to my current life.
4. And finally Ben Stiller as the resident wanker.

Some of my favorite quotes from Reality Bites:

Lelaina: Quick, Vicky, whats your social security?
Vicky: Uhm... 851-259-357.
Troy: Very impressive.
Vicky: Thats the only thing I really learned in college

Lelaina: Troy, aren't you excited?
Troy: I'm bursting with fruit flavor.

Sammy: I just do not understand why this moment needs to be Memorexed.

Troy(talking about Ben Stiller's character): He's the reason why Cliff's Notes were invented.

Troy: I'll probably be working at Whole Foods you know, playing warehouses and hanging around places like the Radio Shack screaming that I used to know you and you'll be there in the lights and all beautiful and shit.
Lelaina: Oh, Troy, no no no no no, that would never happen. They'd never HIRE you at Whole Foods.

Vicky: He’s weird. He’s strange. He’s sloppy. He’s a total nightmare for women... I can’t believe I haven’t slept with him yet.

Troy: Hello, you've reached the winter of our discontent

Quickly, because of all the piles

I'm going to start visiting a new friend today. His name is Jim. We will hang out every night this week and hopefully, the party will continue into the next few months. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.

I'll be back on the blogwagon shortly

I just returned from a business trip. If that doesn't ensure my status as a bonafide adult, I don't know what will.
As soon as I make it out of my mounds and leaning piles of work I will post about some recent concerts, trips, and hot asses I've come across.
Very good.

CLIF Banana Nut Bread

Don't ever eat this.While I have enjoyed many other flavor varieties from Clif, this particular banana flavor honestly makes me wretch. It smelled like medicine when I opened the wrapper and the three bites that are now in my stomach are mixing with the other residents of my stomach for a quite unenjoyable result.

Where's my Cherry Pie when I need it?

I am a product of our Durkeimian Society

I followed a man from Georgetown back to work today. I walked 1/2 a block behind him for 4 blocks. I watched him walk and scream at nobody. He screamed obscenities and blood curdling accusations of people who had wronged him. He turned his head up to the sky and didn't care who heard him. I wondered what had happened for him to act this way. I wondered if it was a breakdown or just a normal Tuesday. But mostly, I wondered why nobody reacted to him. In a city of over 1/2 a million people, everyone walks with their head down. They don't acknowledge anothers pain and suffering, or delusional behavior.


The other day, a professional violinist stood outside a metro stop and played all morning. Nobody really even took note. A few people stopped to look back, after realizing that this man was very talented, but then kept walking on. He made little money and was mostly ignored.
Why are people so scared to acknowledge each other? What is the fear of giving someone a smile? Or asking them if they are ok? Are we really so important that we cannot take 10-15 minutes out of our day to help someone?
If I didn't think the man walking down the street was going to shoot my head off or stab me, maybe I would've talked to him. Maybe. *Sigh

Freedom bicycles

In France, people can rent bikes at will! You buy a card that is good for the entire week. From there, you just swipe the card at a little machine by the bikes and the first 1/2 hour is free, after that it is just a couple euros an hour. After you are done with it, return it to one of the several hundred stations around town. You can choose the bike you want by punching in the number at the machine and about 10 seconds later, after hearing a beep, your bike will pop free! Liberation!
And apparently because of the mass amounts of bikes for rent around this certain town in France, all the cars are well trained to share the road with bikers.
I wonder what it would take to get this instituted in our nations capital?

Confessions of a Post-Teenage impoverished woman

I don't really get the boyfriend thing like I used to.

From the time I was in high school until basically 2 years ago, I had a boyfriend. I don't think I was one of those girls who need a boyfriend, rather I just kept meeting boys with potential.
Either my standards have been rising, or I am not getting out enough. I just can't imagine having a boyfriend at this point in my life. With my spare time, I would rather be:
1. Hanging out with friends
2. Exploring the city
3. Going to shows
4. Cooking/Baking
5. Watching a movie from my queue
6. Going to dinner with my dad or mom
7. Organizing my stuff
8. Planning trips
9. Catching up on The Office or Arrested Development
10. Meeting new people
11. Learning double dutch
12. Hiking
13. Writing stories or songs

Basically I could go on and on. And guys, I realize that most of these things (with the exception of #11 and perhaps #6) can be done with a guy in tow, but I don't want them to be. The whole idea of having a boyfriend just seems silly to me. I would never want anyone to hold me back from what I am planning on doing in life or my current projects. I think if I were to have a boyfriend he would interfere. Am I selfish? I don't think so. And its not like I think "all the good ones are taken" or "woah is me, I don't have a boyfriend". Please, I know how to get the job done:

I have just finally tapped into the exciting life of a single girl and I'm not ready to succumb to coupledom quite yet. What I really need right now is a boy who will take me out and pay for all my wants and needs. All I need is a couple pair of shoes so I can look hot for you, and a season pass to Kings Dominion. And maybe a house in Ecuador. But that's all. Please sign up in comments below. I will be reviewing applicants all weekend.

Thank you and good luck to you.