takin a break

I can't find the energy or inspiration to write that much on my blog lately.

I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. There are things going on right now (things which I don't care to write about) that are really taking it out of me. My life is taking an unexpected turn to somewhere I'm not quite sure I want to be, but I'm too tired to try and figure things out right now. That's what I get for being a lazy person.

Hopefully I'll find something to write about soon. I do miss you all.

more pansy than a one-year old

My niece, Lizzy, who will turn 1 next month(!!!) is currently at my sisters house in SLC. With mom in tow, of course. And dad.

Anyway my sister, Blondie*, has a pet tarantula named Bernardo Alberto. She has had it for awhile, and it was in residence when I went to visit her this past summer. I had to sleep in the same room as it and I had nightmares the entire week. Especially because kitties would come and pounce on me every couple hours and I thought it was the spider. The spider is my most intense intense phobia. I am so scared of the damn things, I can't even squash a baby one without shrieking. While I was visiting Blondie, she waved Bernardo's "shed" in front of my face. I thought it was the actual spider and I literally started hyperventilating and sharted on her new couch. I almost died. All while she was laughing with delight.

So Lizzie is down there this weekend to pay a visit to the ole SLC. Apparently she loves Bernardo Alberto. Jenny said she went up to the cage and starting waving to the spider. Like they were FRIENDS or something. My niece is seriously whack. But I totally love her. Mad respect, Lizzie bear.


* I was informed after the publishing of this post that Blondie has now become a red head. I'm sorry. It's hard to keep up. She changes hair colors faster than I go through rolls of toilet paper. Which is fast, what with all the sharting.

Me gusta la iglesia

You may have heard about my penchant for all things Russian. Oh, you haven't? Well, allow me to expound on these feelings. I know half of the Russian alphabet, I can mutter a few Ruske phrases, and I like chai tea. I realize this basically makes me Russian, so watch out for me. Oh, I also carry a communist bag, but that more has to do with the Chairman...which we won't go into right now.

I digress. Recently I went to a concert at the Kennedy Center celebrating Russian music. This event shared some beautiful and inspiring music, as well as some uplifting words about the recently departed Rostoprovich. What I didn't know is that there is a rather sizeable Russian community in the DC area. And that Russian events take place with some frequency.

Last night, I attended an event at the Basilica at Catholic University. It was a new Christmas Oratorio written by the Russian Orthodox bishop of all of Eastern Europe. He was in attendance, as well as the Russian minister of culture. Pretty wild.
The oratorio was performed by Russia's National Defense Ministry Orchestra. Apparently it was a pretty historical event, being that it occured with the knowledge and approval of the highest levels of the Russian government. So...yay.

Anyway it was really beautiful and haunting music. The way you want Russian music to sound - it definitely delivered. But what I loved was the Basilica itself.


I love the architecture of cathedrals. But I missed the more direct "art" found in most catholic churches in south america. Blood and guts and graphic depictions of Christ. Weeping women mourning lost loves and friends. That being said - the Basilica did have an AWESOME depiction of God.

Praytell (no pun intended) - is that fire coming out of his head or just a really cool hat? Either way, sign me up.

Oh the holidays are such a joyous time!

I just finished my first graduate school APPLICATION!!!! w00t!

And I get to go to NYC this weekend!!

And in about 15 minutes, it's our holiday office party! All you can eat chinese and then happy hour all afternoon. Can it get any better than this?

Oh it can. I just got a christmas bonus!! My first Christmas bonus...grad school applications...weekend trips...I feel like such a grownup.

joke?

For the past few months, I have been getting a bi-weekly call at my office. It rings in from a 1-800 number and it is an automated message from Lane Bryant, telling me about their sale.
For those of you who don't know, Lane Bryant is a store for plus-sized women.

Who is playing a joke on me?? And where can i get that number to send out to my friends??

working my fingers to the bone

I think what I need is a week off of work to focus on school stuff. Work is pretty busy right now, and my life outside work is pretty busy. I could handle one or the other without any problems, but trying to do it together (thats what she said) isn't working.
Only 2 weeks until the GRE and after that christmas vacation!!!

Plus the POTUS just gave the feds the day off for christmas eve! Thank you! Just for that I won't participate in that fruit throwing rally on the Hill.

Now, POTUS, if you would just pass a gosh damn energy bill, then we can really start being friends. I make excellent oatmeal cranberry cookies and I will take you out for tea from time to time.
Think about it.

Love,

Gnomie.

Iz not reddy for winterz

I have been trying to buy some boots for awhile. I just want a pair of cute, professional, somewhat sassy black boots. I've looked high and low, but cannot afford most of the boots I like (upwards of $250). So last night I was out doing all the shopping and discovered the Nine West Boot Sale!!

Fortuitous happenstance!

So I tore through the store, picking out boot after boot to try on. Just me and my iPod. Me and Band Of Horses just picking out the boot of my dreams. After about 20 minutes of pacing around the store in each possible new boot and becoming increasingly frustrated with my inability to find a good pair, I had to ask someone else.
See, usually when girls go shopping, they go in groups or with another girl so they can get The Opinion. Without this Opinion, they are in danger of making a grave mistake. I can attest to this mistake. Right now, if you look in my closet you will find the following:
1. oversized sweater vest
2. grey jeans that don't fit properly
3. pants that can only be described as culottes
4. black shoes that my mom might wear
5. black shirt with fluttery wing-like long sleeves

I have bought all these items in the past 4 months. I need The Opinion when I shop or I make regrettable purchases. Very. Regrettable.

Anyway I had no shopping partner last night, so I approached 2 lovely looking young ladies. I asked them which boot they preferred. We deliberated and they decided that the boot on the left foot looked much better. (really? but the right boot is so cute! i love the details!) But...they gave me The Opinion I was seeking out. It was settled. And against my better judgement, I trusted that Opinion more than my own instinct.

I returned home with my spoils and put the boots on to take a look in the personal comforts of my home. I put them on and gasped. GASPED. I bought whore boots. How did I not see this in the store?? The pointy toes...the knee length...the stiletto heel...the silver detail on the back...SH*T. I started thinking back on what me "friends" in the store told me. "I like the way that boot makes your foot look arched" or "Those are sexy boots!"

So after some deep thinking, I realized that these girls were not any normal girls. They were probably ladies of the night. And I trusted their opinion because...well...they looked pretty damn hot. But I am not a "hot girl". I am a "cute girl". I buy cute girl boots, not whorrish sexy boots.

I'm taking back those boots tonight. And next time I solicit somebody's Opinion, I will first ask them what their occupation is and whether or not they like cheap sex. Hopefully, this will allow for a more fulfilling shopping experience that will result in my continued cuteness and my decreasing whore-ishness, an image I've been trying to shed since my cheerleading days. Damn the cheerleaders.

Weekend of friends

No, I'm not talking about these friends, I'm talking about friends from my past, present and future.

I am quickly realizing that I have some pretty great friends. I wouldn't be able to feel as satisfied with life as I do without their friendship. I wouldn't get the joy out of simple things like the perfect couch with the perfect cup of tea. I wouldn't laugh at myself everytime I thought of german girls. I wouldn't have friends to laugh with at the silly situations in which we always find ourselves neck-deep.

Case in point: This weekend, my old roommate and "Best Friend" was in town. We went to school together, shared the same major, and share similar aspects and ideas about life. She went back to finish up school, so I don't get to see her that much. But she was in town for the weekend and we were able to go out a few separate times for dinners, drinks, and various other urban activities. On saturday night, we had dinner at Tabaq, a tapas bistro in the U street corridor. We talked about life, school, love, things that make us truly happy, and our own individual pursuits. It was really therapeutic and just what I needed.

When dinner was over, I wanted to go see my friend play with his band at DC9(a club down the street), but Best Friend was not in the mood. Insisting that she'd rather stay at Tabaq and start reading a nerdy anthropology book(which I can totally get down with), she stayed at the restaurant for about 1.5 hours while I went to see another awesome friend, Ron. On the way to the club, I caught up with a new friend on the phone. At DC9, I ran into an old friend who I've known since I was 14. We put our arms around each other and swayed to the music. After the show, hugs were exchanged and I went back to the restaurant to pick up Best Friend. Then we went home and sleep in the comfort of my urban flat.

I love living in the city and I love the experiences I am able to have. But most of all, I love my friends who make it possible to enjoy what would otherwise be quite mundane.

Loves to all my loves!!

Thursdays with Leslie

maybe this is why I always dream about my teeth falling out

Look how I didn't blog for nearly ten days. What are the chances??!?

Maybe its due to a number of personal, professional, educational and medical downfalls.

Or maybe not. But I'm betting it is.

I went to the dentist today for the first time in over two years and was SHOCKED to find out that I didn't have any cavities. After my dentist told me how healthy my teeth looked, I was like "Look. Let me give it to you straight. I know I have tons of cavities because every morning I wake up and my teeth hurt soooo badly. And whenever I lay my head down, there is so much pressure. Stop your dentistal lying." To which she replied "Oh dearie.(shaking her head) You grind your teeth. We'll have to fit you with a bite guard."

Like hell you will.

The Many Faces of Gluttony or Massive Food Hangover

The food was in abundance. Thanks to all those who came! Another successful year of gluttony! This post is dedicated to my best friend, Spew.
The co-host Part uno
The co-host Part duex
Boys getting their mack on
Twins!
Marathon runners
Very tall people. Me=scared.
Me gusta short people.
Cute out-of-towners
Curly haired locals
These people get really excited for parties
Best friends from Arizona, reunited
Party people being awesome
Boyfriends were present
Birthday boys were present
Cute people were in abundance
Seriously, cute people everywhere. Even on the papasan.
Serious about food and parties.
Me, loving up on my blog buddy.

Party dresses - Right on Target

I'm looking for a party dress and target has a few pretty options for me to shake that ass during this holiday season.
Listen to this while you look at the dresses for maximum enjoyment:

My feet will take you there

This weekend should be interesting. There is tons going on (seems everyone is having a party of some sort), but I should be studying my brains out. I have to take the GRE on monday and I've been studying for the past month and intensely for the past week. I'm not too nervous, but I just want to get it out of the way.

And because I'm a boy scout at heart, I want to Be Prepared.

I feel like dancing, though. I want to dance through the weekend. Thanks Arizona roommate for the suggestion today. I've been foot dancing at my desk all morning. My feet look like this:


I really really need a monster or this day is shot.

TAGGED.

I've been tagged before, and I normally don't respond, but it was at the request of Iggy, whom I love and adore and therefore must do as commanded.

So, drumroll, in no particular order - 7 random things about myself...

1. I always let my toenails grow out because I forget about them. The only way I remember to cut them is when the nails start cutting into my other toes. TRUE STORY. THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME. I’m disgusting.
2. I have had a reoccurring nightmare since I was about 10. In this nightmare, the details always change a little, but my teeth always fall out. Sometimes they fall out in clumps, other times the shatter like glass. I ALWAYS wake up and think that I am toothless. It’s terrifying.
3. I have a not-so-secret crush on bearded men. TH just shaved his beard because he’s currently in hot pursuit of a job, and I cried myself to sleep last night (not really, TH). But really, a bearded man in my humble opinion is the hottest thing since sliced toast.
4. I have to walk the exact same way to work every morning and I count my steps. I try to beat myself every day by taking less steps then the day before. We are moving offices and I get to start the game all over. I’m really very much excited.
5. I like to knit but I totally suck at it. Ask any of my nieces and nephews that I’ve made blankets and dolls for. I know one day I will be the crazy Knitting Aunt who knits sweaters that are too big and too ugly but the kids will be so sweet to me that I’ll never know they hate my creations. Thanks in advance, babies.
6. Tall people scare the crap out of me. I never realized this until I was walking home late one night and there was a very tall man walking towards me. I was sure he was going to kill me, but turns out I am still alive. Everytime I see a tall person, I stare and hold my purse a little tighter. It’s really unfounded, but I can’t stop the fear.
7. When I was younger, I used to have a theme every day for my clothes. Like I would wear black and white and a music note necklace and I was a keyboard. Or brown pants and a green shirt=tree. I still do this sometimes, although now it’s more like black short dress=common whore. OK, not really. But I think I need to start again. Tomorrow: Yellow and white=fried egg.

I'm going to tag some peeps: Lars, Jenny, and Eric - even though he doesn't really even BLOG anymore. Get on that, Eric. Oh and Jaylo, too.

Walking Follies

Someone just walked by my little cube.

They didn't just walk, however. They ran. Why would a person run in the office, you might be wondering? I'll tell you. I heard this person trip on something before they came into view, and they just pretended they were running instead of following through with the trip! It really made me laugh, because I do things like that all the time.
"Oh no, I totally wanted to start running after that large crack in the sidewalk. Yes, I've been planning on it since I saw the crack."

Right. We all know that running after a trip is a total waste of pride, because we KNOW what you're doing.

The Run After Tripping incident reminded me of something else I see. Walking to work in the morning, I walk beside a large glass-windowed building. I like to play a game with those walking in front of me. I like to count the number of times the person watches themselves walk. You would be amazed how many people are narcissistic around here. I mean, even as VAIN as I am - I only take a glance every once in a while. Certainly not every day and CERTAINLY not 10 times within one block! Good Grief.

Can you think of any other walking follies? I love a good tripping/falling story, as you might have heard.

Wicked score

I've had my eye on this gem since the day I started working here.
Because we are moving offices, they are disposing of some artwork and I was lucky, so lucky, to get to this before anyone else did!
I'm trying to figure out where to hang it in my humble abode. Something like this deserves a spotlight or it's own pet kitten or something.

Achtung! ISO Funeral Potatos recipe!

Seriously, because casseroles is how you make the friends.
Who has recipes?

Musculator Atrophy Red Alert!!

Last night TH and I were talking, ya know - just shootin the shit. While we were on the couch, I was kind of hunched over and I got the GREAT idea to show him The Bagel. For those of you who are less fortunate than I, and do not know what a bagel is, allow me to explain.
You know when you hunch over and your tummy gets some cute little rolls? Well, if you centralize those rolls by forming your thumbs and forefingers in a circle over your bellybutton area, then squeeze - tada! A Bagel!

I showed TH the rich and fabulous life of the Bagel and it was met, not with wonderment and a standing ovation like it DESERVES, but instead cringing and a lot of murmuring. As if, TH. I introduced a wonderful thing into your life last night, so learn to recognize.

Secondly, I decided it would be a good idea to roll up my sleeves on my tshirt because I'm just hot like this guy:
Anyway I started looking for my hot tricep to show off, cause lets be honest - that's how you really get a man - when I realized IT WAS GONE!!
My loving triceps, with whom I've had many good times and with whom I've scored many boyfriends and hot action, have fled. I have neglected them and they are but a shadow of my past.

Ladies and ladies, it is time to get back to the gym. Push ups every day! Come back to me, triceps!

Chats

It's Haiku Season.

me: angelina is writing for the economist now
Teen Heartthrob: jolie?
me: yep
TH: I actually support that
I've said it before, I respect what she does, how she uses her influence, and she was ridiculously impressive on larry king
me: maybe you should pen a haiku for her
TH: having difficulty

TH: She wields influence
With utopian vision
To lift the trodden

me: holy shnit
thats pretty good
i think you are in lub with her
TH: ha
totally
I hope you're jealous

(And he wonders why we have disagreements. Haiku means love. Clearly I only love monster and he is in a loving relationship with Angelina. I hope he likes children.)

sadness=increased Monster consumption

Waking up today was sad. I heard the rain and I just wanted to stay in bed. I wanted to call in sick. One of those days. Until I discovered THESE TIGHTS:

Than I paired them with a cute black skirt, a black sweater vest and a cute white ruffled shirt.

I looked seriously hot in my looking glass today.

I stole my roommates umbrella to keep me dry.
Then I bought this to ease my troubled mind:

Today, I'm kicking ass and taking names.

I seriously love Monster so much, I don't think you guys understand the level of comfort it brings me. It's the equivalent of my duckie blanket or Jenny's Pinkie that she STILL has after like 23 some odd years. And she gave it to her daughter to pass along the habit. I just hope she doesn't sniff it like Laura did with her old blanket. Aww, I want sniffing blanket Laura back.
I don't know what I'm going to do when they stop making the drink. Is this the sort of fear that came true for all of the Crystal Clear Pepsi fans? (Don't worry, there is totally a support group.)
A haiku for you:

Ginseng and Taurine
coat my pharynx with blue
Now I know true love

Now go have a great day, my little fauns. And if the day is wearing you down, look no further than your neighborhood grocer for the lo-carb Monster.