Nov 22, 2006

The prophecy comes forth

Once every ten years or so, the Tsembaga men and women collectively decide to alter the livelihood of their village by holding a mass slaughter of 3/4 of the villages pigs. Tsembaga love their pigs when they are living, allowing them to roam through their village gardens, houses, and fields. They grow to the size of a small adult and the sheer size and number of pigs become a burden to everyone in the small village of upwards of 200 natives. The pig slaughter consists of killing sometimes up to 125 pigs, giving the villagers almost one pig per person for enjoying.
The Tsembaga keep about 2500 pounds of pork and fat for themselves, or 12 pounds for each man, woman, and child, a quantity which they consumed in five consecutive days of unrestrained gluttony.

Unrestrained gluttony. A term to which I can relate.

As a tribute to friends in distant lands, namely Drock "new years baby" Degraff and Spew "I'm a TV Star" Vawdrey, Virginia had its first annual Gluttonfest.

Friends came and partook in our lavish spread of turkey, cranberry, potatoes, cheese, bread, hummus, stuffing, yams, and delectable desserts. People coming back for seconds, thirds, and sometimes fourths.
Unrestrained Gluttony.

We had a decent showing of friends and family.
I explained to everyone the legacy in which they were participating. They didn't realize what a landmark event they were attending. So we all sat in a group and had a picture taken of the occasion, that I'm sure will be appearing in future archives and history books.

Our King of Virginia Gluttonfest, Neil, made the important turky contribution. Together, we carved the turkey. Funny because neither of us actually eat meat. But our hands were all over that bird like ruben stoddard on a crisco can.

People amazingly donated their time to bake us delicious desserts like gooey choco chip cookies, raspberry dark chocolate brownies, store bought pumpkin pie, and dessert breads. They were enoyed by all.

After we were all requistely stuffed full of food and wrought with gluttony, we made attempts to play games where we all sat around in circles and kissed the person on our left and bit the person on our right. It was my favorite part of gluttonfest because of faces like this one

And situations like this

And here are the proud founders of Gluttonfest 2006, Virginia. They are so cute I could eat them, too.

Now on to more gluttony on thursday...this time laced with a hint of gratitude.


Iggy Enigma said...

yeah- Neil doesn't eat the meat- just the fat-soaked skins.

I know there are probably comparisons going on right now about east coast Gluttonfest vs west coast Gluttonfest but... just think. in Heaven, we can all gather together, no boundaries, to enjoy our favorite Sin together as one big happy family.

Eric said...

Yeah. Unless you're condemned to the East Side of Heaven.

Jenny said...

I'm glad to have contributed the "My Other Apron is my Birthday Suit" apron. Meh heh. I'm really funny!
Also, the house looks great. I wish I could live at home forever.
I also contributed the festive salsa lady who seems to be holding a bowl of hummus or some other tasty treat on her head. I'm glad I could help!

Marva said...

Um, so this comment is a little late, but I love how I look absolutely ticked in the group picture.

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