i'd like to start with a salad, please.

please, please. now that the inevitable has happened (no, not that the government is finally being blamed for assisting in the exploitation of firearms and oil), we must all pause and take a deep breath. WHY? why, we ask ourselves, would anyone not have assumed that Denver wouldn't have legalized marijuana?? I mean, have you ever been thru the city? First of all, there are snow-bums galore and the entire city is working from an economy fueled by snowboarders and skiers. Secondly, I've only been through the city twice but each time was a trip itself. Trannies, street performers, clowns...if I were a Denver resident I'd have started smoking tha ganja many years ago. I'd be interested to hear both liberal and conservative reactions to this news.



Now that we've addressed the important issues of the day, lets focus on something a bit more important. For the past oh-i-don't-know 3 months or so, I have been aware of a growing addiction that keeps me up at night. I have forgone many fun activities, stellar cinema, and late night talks to engage in this filth. The glow of the computer screen illuminates my blank stare as I implore strategic moves in which to win, pray, ONE game of spider solitaire. Does anyone else understand the hours wasted on this single mindblowing game? And why can't I quit after Ive won? Why must I turn right around and start a new game with a newfound sense of glory and genius? It's that damned confetti that does it everytime.