May 29, 2008

In which my life is consumed my cheese

I cannot stop eating cheese, but that is beside the point of this post. Well, I'm going to be upfront, I don't yet know what this post is going to be about, other than the random ramblings of my life in the big city. I haven't quite "gotten organized". I don't "have it all together". I'm not "well-acquainted with this life-style".

To quote myself and to paraphrase my sister, Jenny - I have a shitton of homework. I mean, its only day 2 and already I'm slightly overwhelmed. Granted the past month of my life has been spent laying around on beaches, hiking volcanic islands, sleeping in until noon, sitting around the coffee shop all day, etc, etc. And granted, the past 1 1/2 years of my life have been spent sharpening pencils and refilling the drink closet with diet cokes and ordering laser pointers for boss people. And granted I have never liked doing homework EVER. So, basically I am probably right on track. I do, however, need to get on task. Yep, that's right. I need a calendar, an agenda, a binder of some sorts, something.

Ok so school is hard, but its SO FUN!!! Like last night I thought I might kill someone because I couldn't figure out how to plot a bell curve in excel, but then I figured it out today and I almost kissed my neighbor (apparently those emotions of mine are still running high). And then I MADE UP A MATH EQUATION to support this supposed correlation of lead amounts in gasoline to pollution in the air and it worked!!! My math equation worked and, more importantly, proved that math is awesome. Ever since I kicked maths ass on the GRE, I'm a little more confident in my math skillz. And I'm also doing other projects like working on solar energy legislation and devising a chemical analysis for forest fire chemicals. I LOVE FOREST FIRE!!! (The process, not the actual destruction.)

To quote Tanner, my bebbe, school is "the bomb dot com". And I'm also loving NYC. Yes, I spend most nights in my apartment and no, I haven't figured out how the hell to get cross town, and maybe I'm scared of the subway, but look - I'm getting used to my surroundings. I just discovered a Pinkberry around the corner from my apartment, and you can betchyerass I'll be eating ice cream very soon!

Anyway my mom is calling because SHE LOVES ME (and apparently reads my blog and I didn't know. hi mom) so peace out ya'll. Stay tuned.

May 26, 2008

Day one: Success

Well, I have found it. For years I've been searching for the thing in my life that would make me feel complete. I am absolutely in love and I have found my soulmate. Dying to know who it is? Well, friends, its New York City. That's right. Gnomie + NYC = Tru Luv.

Who knew moving could be so enjoyable? I am loving New York. There are so many things about this city that make me happy. Let's begin.
1. Of course I'm starting with food. This is the single thing that can bring me happiness no matter the time of day or temperature outside. Without ever crossing any streets here are the following types of cuisine available to me:
Pizza (duh)
Indian (dot)
Bagels (this deserves its own category, right?)
I'm sure there are some I'm forgetting, but COME ON. How have I been missing out on living in an area like this all my life? I feel like everything in my life has been leading up to this move to Manhattan. I love ALL of these cuisines. I'm going to get so fat.

Which leads me to
2. Walking. I walk everywhere without a car and without the desire to take the subway very far. Today I walked down to 90th and up to 125th, from the west end to central park. Probably a total of 3 hours. I loved it. Hopefully I can keep this up and not get fat with all the nations of cuisine as my neighbors.

3. Stoops. People actually hang out on the apartment stoops here. It's great. It's like A Bronx Tale. Today I walked by a group of old, wrinkled men and they were carrying on and laughing. When I passed, one of the men took off his derby cap saying "I take my hat off for you" and their group all stopped to watch me pass. Someone uttered the words "What beautiful knees", which was altogether the weirdest and most flattering thing I've ever heard. I love this city.

4. Central Park really is that great. I live about 3 blocks from the Park and today being memorial day, there were hundreds of people enjoying frisbee, bbq's, soccer, picnicking, making out, dog walking, running, biking, jumping rope, etc. I love that walking these 3 blocks to the Park takes me away from the most congested city I've ever lived in to tree-lined paths, large expanses of green grass, and minimal city noise. It's genius.

5. I am not even nervous for school tomorrow. Well, I mean I am a human, I am a little nervous, but its just excitement mainly.

What the hell was I so scared about? This place is great! I just can't believe it took me so long to find the love of my life. I can't wait to see what our children look like.

May 21, 2008


You know that J Lo movie, Enough? She's a mom to this cute little person and is involved in a scary relationship with this abusive guy. One day she decides to be all super hard core and starts working out and going to the gym pretty much 7 times a day and kicking that big red foam thingy and sparring with her gym teacher, all so she can be ready for her ex-lover to come over and kill her.

Why doesn't she just MOVE??

I mean, sure its brave that she's trying to face the demons, but if some really scary man had a death wish for me, I would do the follwing:

1. Call the police
2. Move in with my parents
3. Get a couple of trained blood thirsty doberman pinchers
4. Watch a lot of days of our lives, cause it would probably give me really great ideas of what to do with a scorned lover.
5. If those don't work, move somewhere like Ecuador or Russia

Anyway J Lo is ridiculous and just wants attention. Grow up.

Getting ready

Back from Nica, never knew I had the nerves that are currently ruining my digestive system. Unless, of course, I got a little tapeworm in Central America...this is highly possible.

I'm freaking out, ya'll. I'm supposed to be moving in like 4 days and I haven't started packing or preparing for this move because I am straight up in DENIAL. I don't WANT to move. I don't WANT to go to school. All my friends are here. So many of the people I love are situated in one little metropolitan area, its so easy! Why would I LEAVE that? Because someone had the brilliant idea of accepting me to one of the best schools in the country I had no choice but to say yes. This is not my fault. The cosmos are working against me. The heavens want me in New York for some reason and I am fighting the heavens with all the courage I can muster (which isn't much right now).

I submitted my photo for my student ID today. This is the one I sent:
See? I don't LOOK crazy. Or scared. I look totally calm. Maybe I should refer to that picture during times of high stress = I should refer to it 24/7. I do look kind of old, though. And wise. And pretty damn smart, too. Ok, its no wonder they let me in to their little program.

I haven't even decided when I'm moving yet. I want to stay here for the weekend, but I know I should get up to my apartment to get prepared for Tuesday. TUESDAY.

And then I have nights like last night, wherein I get together with a bunch of friends and go out to eat at delicious restaurants that I love and laugh about silly things and plan future parties involving elastic sweatpant outfits. It makes leaving seem that much more ridiculous. Usually I move because I need a change and a new start. I guess I'm glad I'm going to be experiencing a change from my job situation. I didn't want to be a pencil sharpener for the rest of my life, after all. My mind is a jumble right now.

Atleast Mickey will be taking me up to school. Shopping spree anyone???

May 6, 2008

Day of unemployment part dos

Well it turns out I had a very productive day yesterday. I went ahead with the pesto making. Yumm. Who's eating pasta and veggies with homemade pesto sauce? This girl.
I also made it to a "vegetarians invited" bbq fest in Virginia. I had the pleasure of enjoying a catfish fillet platter with delicious mayonaissed cole slaw and mashed potatoes and cherry cobbler. Ohhh still salivating. I mainly went to hang out with my favorite people from Vir-jynia. My favs were there - Mary D, TH, DJ Adams, Meg&Mark, Tim "I control you" Jim, The Nelsons, C name a few. Here is Mary D looking hot as per usual and me looking on trying to figure out "how does she do it?"
"Who knows! Its a mystery! Lets just blur the photo so I kinda look as hot as Mary D. We can definately fool some people."
So I layed out again for my requisite 20 minutes. I'm never getting a tan this way. Coffee shop today has consisted of downloading entirely too much music.
Some of which includes the following:
1. Japanther
2. Sons & Daughters
3. Shocking Pinks
4. Tom Waits
5. The Gutter Twins

So far so good!
Oh, additionally - you should check out my brother and his familys new blog.
They have the best pictures of cute little Abby and I love the way my brother writes. It takes me back to the video we have of him reading his book about...I think it was like TMNT fan fiction? Robby, can you back me up on this? Anyway - check out his blog. Welcome to the fam blogosphere! Who should we pressure next, Jen? I'm thinking Laura would be a good candidate...

May 5, 2008


Whats up ya'll? So this is how it feels to be gainfully unemployed. Sitting at the coffee shop mid day. Sleeping in till eleven. Walking around the house in your unda-wears. Contemplating whether I should first go shopping or make some pesto. Hmmm...which is more pressing? HAHAHAHA. IT IS SO GREAT TO BE WITHOUT A JOB!!! I can't believe I've been working for so long when I could've been sitting around all day. This must be what its like to be a trust fund kid. My bank account is still full and my outlook on life: positive. Listening to Stevie Wonder, Billie Holiday, Nina Simone and Bossa Nova. Sunny sunshine, breeze blowing outside. Barely there shoes, flowing dresses, flowers growing everywhere...

Going to take my brownie and holga and walk around the city. Take some good shots before I scoot out of here.

Also, today is IGGYS BIRTHDAY!!! What a great day! Iggy you are the wind beneath my wings. My dear heart. I wish you the best year of your life. I dedicate this video and song to you today. But change Dave to Leslie.

May 1, 2008

Slumpy McSlumperson or Gnomie McWhines-alot

Aren't you sick of my bitching? Geez, bravo for anyone who still reads this pathetic excuse for a blog. Anyway I am on the up and up (whatever that means) and I have now spent 1 (yes, 1!) night out of the house this week.

Last night I went to dinner with Iggy and her replacement friends cool friends to Tonic - a hipster joint uptown. We ate very very fried foods and drew pictures of each other on the tables with the provided crayons. Afterwards we attended a benefit concert for the fire victims of the Mt. Pleasant fire that forced an evacuation of like hundreds of people out of their apartment homes. Very sad.

So, playing the role of BFF, I thought I'd throw Iggy a bone and pay for her entry into the benefit concert. It was a $5 suggested donation. I walked up to the doorman with the shoebox full of money and threw in a twenty. "How much do you want back?", he asked me. "Just give me ten back, please", and before I had the chance to add - I'm paying for two people, he looked at me with these huge sincere eyes and said "Oh, thank you SO much. That's so nice of you." WTF? Hey man, I care about the fire victims - I really do - but that money was meant for me and my BFF! I don't have money to carelessly throw around on benefit concerts! I have a shoe collection to uphold, afterall!! Well of course I couldn't be a jerk and tell the doorman that I was actually very stingey and wanted to pay for two people. So I just counted my losses and went into the concert, where I stayed for about 20 minutes until I was too sick to stand from all the very very fried foods and on account of my deathly cold plague thingy.

Lesson learned. From now on, I stay inside. No more nights out for Gnomie. From now on - its just me, my DVD player, and season 7 of Friends. Beat that, Hipsters.