Nov 28, 2006

Watch out for hidden cameras, this means you Lars.

This is your butt:

This is your butt on DDR

A cruel joke, though executed with perfection. Well done.

The secret of life

I sent out my resume to 25 companies today. 25! In one day!
And that is all I did today.
Except for when I went to The Movie Theatre and saw one of the best cinematic works of art I've experienced in some time.

The Fountain.
It didn't really get much hype, and from what I have read it has not been well received by the public. Which may be one of the reasons why I lapped up every frame (I like to cater to the underappreciated crowds. Except for K Fed, of course.) But - Hugh Jackman like I have never seen him before. The story was set in a 3 seperate spheres of time and space. A man and his cancer stricken wife, played beautifully by Rachel Weisz, try to find the secret formula for eternal life. (I always thought it was Book of Mormon + Good works x lots of boyfriends =eternal life. But whatever.) Izzy, the dying wife, is writing a book about the seach and discovery of the Tree of Life set in the time of the Spanish Inquisition. Tommy, played by Jackman, is a conquistador and Izzy is the queen of Spain who sends Tommy to the Mayan popluated New Spain to find the Tree. Then in the present, Tommy is working to find a cure for cancer in this monkey research lab where he works. He is simultaneously looking for a cure for his Izzy. In the future, Tommy is a bald man who spends his time in a heavenly sphere, next to a large tree, surrounded by images and words whispered from Izzy.

Sound confusing? Well, it was confusing. But the story line is not the reason I really enjoyed the movie.

The imagery created in the film was amazing. The music was a continuous driving intensity of orchestral buildup. Minor chords, notes left unresolved, a beautiful cacophony. It presented a perfect backdrop for the cinematic art that was the movie.
The colors were heavenly shades of yellow, white, and brown. In the future scenes, the sky was pulsating with stars, nebulas, and meteor showers. The tree that Tommy stood next to was a beautiful antique white that spiraled and cragged its way into the starry sky. He eminated light from his hairless body.

I could go on about how beautiful this movie was. Would I see it again? Definately. Would I recommend it? No. No, because this movie is not for everyone. If you want to really experience 90 minutes of moving art, please see it. But if you are looking for a movie that has excellent character development and dialouge, then seek elsewhere.

This movie is an experience. It will draw you in if you allow it to do so. It is a richly warm film about life and the achievement of grace that we so often fail to accomplish within our lifetime. Sometimes you find comfort in events and experiences you would primarily believe to be hollow and devastating.

I loved the idea of drawing together themes of nature and the fraility of life in this movie. It was very subtle, but beautifully accomplished. The idea that finding youth is still in nature and the environment. Not in some botox injection or new pair of designer jeans.

Speaking of jeans, You know which commericials bug the hell out of me? Levi's jeans. Especially that one where the couple is standing in the middle of the stampede. And the Walk the Line commercial. Puh-lease. Those commercials are only going to stop people from buying Levi's. Well, atleast me anyway.

Nov 26, 2006


I reached the plateau.

Take a moment with me, won't you? Life sure comes at you fast sometimes. Sometimes you find yourself running around in a frenzy, trying to accomplish everything in life which you esteem important. Everyone around you is doing the same, talking on cell phones, checking their blackberry's, attending to their finances, eating at fast food places while they catch up on the news, trying to maintain a family life and social life, going to the gym, fulfilling community and religious responsibilities... It gets so tiring.
Then sometimes, life slows down. It stops coming so quickly. Initially you enjoy the monotony of a day spent at your leisure. Want to watch two movies in a row? Go ahead. No one will judge you. Care to spend the majority of the afternoon soaking in a hot bath while catching up on your reading? Surely you should feel it is well earned. Maybe you feel like an afternoon jaunt through the city museums, then sitting in the park to watch the street punks skate? Do it. Nobody will judge. It is so great to be free to do what you want! No job, no responsibilities, no rent to pay...this all sounds like the good end of the deal, no? Well,, it doesn't. I mean, it does at first don't get me wrong. But after 2 MONTHS. Seriously. Can. I. Get. Something. To. Do?

I've never ached for a copy machine before, nary a project involving collation and filing. Ok, I still am not aching for that, but I want to be part of something where I work and get paid for my work! I honestly believe that in order to graduate from college you should be required to take a class entitled: Getting a Job in the Real World 101. Because so many people I have talked to have no friggin clue. I am included, if not first in line, in this real world tragedy.

So why do I want to buckle down and get a job?
Because getting a job=moving into city=fun days and nights=happiness=security=fulfillment.

So. Major effort for job attainment is underway. Stay tuned.

Nov 24, 2006

Walk around naked, if you dare!

I know the thing to do is post about things for which you are thankful, however, I forgot that it was Thanksgiving yesterday. I may or may not be lying about this, but one thing that is true is that yesterday was just like every other day for me.
I slept in.
I woke up and watched TV.
I checked my daily smut.
I ate some stuff.
I watched a movie.
I stayed up till 4 watching movies and knitting.

I need a job.

One thing that was severely different yesterday was that my sister was flying out at 6 AM, so my dad had to leave with her at 3:30 AM. So I said goodbye to her, the little sweetie, and then I had the house all to myself!
First I peed with the door open! What a thrill!
Then I played some ragtime and Beethovenss Pathetique Sonata in C Minor. The forte's were so loud! I recklessly banged on the piano keys with abandon!
Then I realized it was 4 AM and the following day, Black Friday, would be full of shopping. So I decided to get some well earned rest.
And I woke up today at 12:30 PM. Shopping will continue until tomorrow. Shop, shop, shop, tis the season!

Nov 23, 2006

Nov 22, 2006

The prophecy comes forth

Once every ten years or so, the Tsembaga men and women collectively decide to alter the livelihood of their village by holding a mass slaughter of 3/4 of the villages pigs. Tsembaga love their pigs when they are living, allowing them to roam through their village gardens, houses, and fields. They grow to the size of a small adult and the sheer size and number of pigs become a burden to everyone in the small village of upwards of 200 natives. The pig slaughter consists of killing sometimes up to 125 pigs, giving the villagers almost one pig per person for enjoying.
The Tsembaga keep about 2500 pounds of pork and fat for themselves, or 12 pounds for each man, woman, and child, a quantity which they consumed in five consecutive days of unrestrained gluttony.

Unrestrained gluttony. A term to which I can relate.

As a tribute to friends in distant lands, namely Drock "new years baby" Degraff and Spew "I'm a TV Star" Vawdrey, Virginia had its first annual Gluttonfest.

Friends came and partook in our lavish spread of turkey, cranberry, potatoes, cheese, bread, hummus, stuffing, yams, and delectable desserts. People coming back for seconds, thirds, and sometimes fourths.
Unrestrained Gluttony.

We had a decent showing of friends and family.
I explained to everyone the legacy in which they were participating. They didn't realize what a landmark event they were attending. So we all sat in a group and had a picture taken of the occasion, that I'm sure will be appearing in future archives and history books.

Our King of Virginia Gluttonfest, Neil, made the important turky contribution. Together, we carved the turkey. Funny because neither of us actually eat meat. But our hands were all over that bird like ruben stoddard on a crisco can.

People amazingly donated their time to bake us delicious desserts like gooey choco chip cookies, raspberry dark chocolate brownies, store bought pumpkin pie, and dessert breads. They were enoyed by all.

After we were all requistely stuffed full of food and wrought with gluttony, we made attempts to play games where we all sat around in circles and kissed the person on our left and bit the person on our right. It was my favorite part of gluttonfest because of faces like this one

And situations like this

And here are the proud founders of Gluttonfest 2006, Virginia. They are so cute I could eat them, too.

Now on to more gluttony on thursday...this time laced with a hint of gratitude.

Nov 18, 2006

Tired is as tired does. And me is for scary mornings.

I stayed up until 6 AM last night, talking--no, make that Listening to boys droning on and on and on about things like computers, building decks, stereos, girls doing them wrong, business plans going awry, etc., etc., etc. I didn't have a car and I couldn't escape. I was stuck in a perpetual living room of boredom. Then I tried to do things to liven up the party. Like first we analyzed each others handwriting, and laughed at each others lack of ambidextriousity. Then I drew pictures of horses with birds. My horse looked like a dog with a really shiny conditioned wig.
After that I tried my hand at talking about eggs and fertilization. Thats when I decided to start lying because I was so bored. So I told them I don't eat eggs and we all got in a big argument. I cracked an egg into a bowl and we analyzed it. That was fun for awhile.
Then I just went back to being bored and sitting on the couch. I played with a cat for awhile, but that got old, too.
We gossiped a bit about people we collectively know.
And that was it.
I spent 5 HOURS sitting on the perpetual couch of loserville, and finally I asked one of the boys to pretty please take me home.

Now today I am sick. And I have been scowling all morning at my Dad, even though he was so nice to take me to a vegetarian restaurant last night. That was so nice of him to do because he loves steak and hamburgers, sometimes more than his children I think. So we went to a movie and I bought him a hot dog. Good thing I invested in the hot dog so I could commence with my scowling this morning. Scowl, scowl, scowl.

Now its grocery store to get ready for Gluttonfest 2006 that I don't even want to have because nobody there will be named spew or jon or heathbar or drock or eat olives off of their fingertips or eat pizzas shaped like the mayflower. Hmph.

Nov 16, 2006


So all week I have been busting my arse to try and find a job. I have been busting my arse trying to work out tons. I am tired, getting sick, and sick and tired.

But its all paying off. I have yet, another job interview, a possible job lead on Tuesday AND my pants are looser!!

Now if I could just find some cure-all wheatgrass juice in Manassas.

Flash flood warning! On your cheekbones!

Crash! Boom! Ker-pow!

Are these:
A) sounds of a good old fashioned thunderstorm?
B) background noises in a classic football movie?
C) All of the above

In case you are slower than most kids in your age group, if there is an option for "C, all of the above", it is usually C. Especially on my blog.
So, yes! We Virginians are in the midst of a tornado and flash flood warning storm! I forgot how immensly I enjoy thunderstorms, especially on a lazy Thursday unemployed afternoon. And especially as the background noise for the always enjoyable viewing of Rudy.
I was lucky enough to channel surf my way into the heart of darkness this morning, in form of RUDY! RUDY! RUDY! I don't think I have ever watched this movie all the way through, so I wanted to give it the old college try this morning. I have to admit, Rudy is a good movie. It is a true testament to achieving success through hard work and determination. That kind of story always tugs on my heartstrings and today was no different. At the end of the movie when he makes that career defining QB tackle and everyone carries him off of the field, I had to put down my spoonful of peanut butter, and wimper softly into the sleeve of my shirt. Whats the deal with me crying at every movie and TV show lately? I mean the other day I actually cried during a Gilmore Girls episode. I cried at the Tim McGraw movie, Flicka. I cried watching Parenthood with Steve Martin.

Seriously, it's like I'm some urban firehydrant that the guys crack open in the middle of a summer heatwave for all the kids to play.

The thunder is clapping, the tears are flowing, then I get a knock on my door. I went to the door, surprised to see a maintenance worker leaving a note that the water would be shut off on monday. I think he was equally surprised to see such a lovely young woman home on a Thursday afternoon, eyes red and brimming with tears, holding a jar of peanut butter in her hand, wearing sweatpants and a Tshirt that says "Wal-mart should go to Hell, not South Logan", complete with a devil horned-Walmart smily face. Classic.
I invited him in to watch a second showing of Rudy, unfortunately he did not speak English. So we stared at each other for a couple of seconds, with the rain pouring down his face, tears streaming down mine, thunder clapping overhead, as I said "Fuerte! Cuidate!"

I don't think it made sense to either of us.

Nov 13, 2006

IMDB = Not the bible afterall

I love IMDB. I'm an IMDB-er for more reasons than one, but the main reason being that I love to read the interesting reviews left by would be movie columnists, those who think they have a corner on the cinema market.
That being said, you must always always read the reviews with a grain of salt. Sometimes I completely agree with them. Other times, however, they put out reviews like the following, A review of Stranger Than Fiction, the new Will Ferrell movie:

I've had more entertaining poops than Stranger Than Fiction. And yes, that includes this morning.
Where to begin? Will Ferrell is NOT a meek man whose life is being mysteriously controlled by a novelist. He's just a great big lug, chewing the fat and mingling the gums. I wish he would do Alf again... I used to love it when he'd eat cats and cough up hair.
Also, what is with the Dustin Hoffman? What is this, his 1,000th movie and all of a sudden he tries to be Dr. Funnypants, PhD? He just wasn't right for the part, is all, homies. Why couldn't this be the movie where they resurrected the career of Bull the bailiff from Night Court? Dy-no-mite!
One thing I will say is that Stranger Than Fiction has a good debut from Emma Thompson. This gal can induce laughter faster than that gruff homeless man who used to tickle us as youngsters. I'll take the glazed!
Overall, I do not recommend Stranger Than Fiction.

I don't even know what to say after that. I wanted to personally chastize this "cinema expert", but I thought instead I would publicly slap his proverbial Roger and Ebert hand.
First of all, why does every Will Ferrell movie have to include him running around naked or looking like an ars? Maybe he's trying to branch out a bit.
Secondly, "A GOOD DEBUT FROM EMMA THOMPSON". WHAT? Has this person ever watched any good movies? Emma Thompson is a well seasoned actress, and I'm a little embarrassed she would accept a role playing second fiddle to Will Ferrell's shenanigans.
Third, I agree with the Dustin Hoffman thing. Get over it, Dustin.

Overall, I do not recommend you believe IMDB reviews as The Gospel. That being said, I will not be paying to see Stranger than Fiction. I will be sneaking into the theatre.

(And yes, I'm still procrastinating the gym--see below post)

Flex your gluteus. Come on, just flex it!

Working out is relative.

What one person considers a "good workout", another person may laugh and scoff at their minimal just-scraping-by effort.
I have been working out for atleast an hour for the past couple of weeks. I'm on a 3 day on, 1 day off rotation. It feels so nice to be back in the workout game. I think I'm pretty good at the game. Once I'm at the gym, my legs swiftly pace themselves on the treadmill, my arms want to push the tricep weightbar up and down. My body loves the muscle development. Hell, I love the muscle development. I get to the gym and want to keep working out, seeing that calories-burned counter go higher and higher. I love stretching afterwards. I love looking longingly at my Goal Jeans, the jeans I will fit into again when I've lost my secretary bum.

I love the gym.

But my motivation sucks.

I tell myself, just go to the gym, just put your shoes on and walk out the door. You can just take it easy today. Just turn on Oprah while you walk leisurly up the stairclimber. But, the beautiful thing is that once I'm at the gym, there is no such thing as an easy workout. I always want to push myself, because whats the point otherwise? So, the hard part is just convincing myself beforehand that I want to be at the gym. The easiest time to go is between 1 and 3 because thats the time when I have exhausted my piano playing skills, morning talk shows, and my job searching efforts have become null and void.

So, how do I find motivation once I get a job? I will be so tired every day and won't want to spend two hours every night in my gym time. Any suggestions? How do you guys do it?

Nov 12, 2006

Due to an unforeseen circumstance, the cats will be exiting the premises post haste.

I guess when Dad finds yellow liquid on the remote control, it is mildy irksome to the point of cat removal.

Fish. Swedish or not, sometimes they taste so good.

Who's exhuasted?

Not me, although I should be. It's bloody 3 in the morning and I have to sing in church in the morning. We have new church time and new building tomorrow. While I have been getting used to and thoroughly enjoying the lazy mornings involved with a 3:00 PM start time, we are now switching our meetings to a cheery 11 AM in bloody Gainesville, which is about 20 minutes away.

I just started going to this particular ward. It is a singles ward, one that embraces the life of a single college student oy young professional. There are about 30 people that attend church on a regular basis. Coming from a place where the chapel is usually filled with atleast 300 people, this is a stark awakening. Where can we find more people to fill up the chapel and make this sad little church meeting into something that my future children would be proud of? Where do we find the reserves? Should we or should we not involve food in this effort to recruit?

I also started going to this ward because before tomorrow, the chapel was about 5 minutes from my house. There is a much more upbeat, chapel-filled ward about 30 minutes east of me. Had I known I would have been driving 20 minutes anyway, I may have subscribed to the bigger and better. I guess bigger and better is not always a good thing. I mean look at King Kong. Or how about Tokyo? And what about that one guy on the princess bride who was totally cool, but ending up dying because he was bigger? I don't want to die an early death just to be bigger. Or better for that matter. For now, I will settle with being a little fish in a little pond. A fish who knits among her peers and lulls them into sweet mid-afternoon slumber in the pews.

Nov 9, 2006

Chairman Jobby McJobpants

I fear I have reached a new point in my life.
This point is: Not Having a Job and Not Caring About It.

The great thing about reaching this point in life is, well, is threefold:

1. I don't have a job.
2. I don't care that I don't have a job.
3. I am free to do whatever I want, whenever I want (barring certain financial restrictions, as well as moral duties).

This means one thing: Party Time.

I do, however, have to start a class tonight at George Mason University. It's actually just a run-of-the-mill GRE math review class. So yes I'm starting the plans for Grad School. I'm mildly terrified of the process, but comforted in the fact that people, just like myself, do it every day.

Well...I'm off to get rid of another cat. They breed like rats, it seems.

Nov 3, 2006

Almost perfection

There are many things in my life that I say are "my favorite thing". I may overuse the phrase "Thats my favorite _____ in the world!" I'm trying to stop this dirty habit. But before I do, let's just get a few things out of the way.

1. I love a good movie.
2. One of my favorite movies in the world is Almost Famous.

Let's talk about Almost Famous.

Before you go thinking "oh great, another in depth analysis of a movie I do not care about", let me assure you that it is not. I simply want to point out a few excellent scenes in the movie that may or may not convince you of the movie making genius that is Cameron Crowe.

First of all, it's a great movie because it has tabloid sensation, Kate Hudson, pre-hubby and Owen Wilson. It ALSO stars My Name is Earl legend, Jason Lee as resident jealous bandmate. And for anyone who cares, one of the band members is Mark Koselek who is actually a real life musical genius and a long time musical crush of mine.

So the scenes that I believe make the movie are two-fold:

1. Near the end of the movie, the band and manager and a few other people are on a plane that starts losing altitude. All believing they are going to die, they begin The Confessions. What begins as harmless "I never said I love you guys enough" eventually turns into an all out Airing of Dirty Laundry with people confessing that they slept with each others wives, harbored all consuming jealousy of noteriety, and then the pinnacle of the movie: one of the band members comes out of his closet. Two seconds later, the plane steadies and they are all left with sad, sad truths to permeate the stale, yet appreciated silence.

2. A downtrodden boy admits his love for a beautiful girl. He admits his love to her as she IS STRUNG OUT ON QUAALUDS!! Look buddy, I don't think she heard you. And you are not brave by admitting your love to a girl who is virtually dying and it is even sicker if you kiss her!
Which, leads me to another thought:
Why do people feel they can only reveal their true feelings when they think the other person isn't aware? Maybe your girlfriend or boyfriend fell asleep and they are lying there so is that the time to confess your undying affliction? What a rip off. I think I may start pretending to be on drugs or fall asleep so I can get the boys that so obviously love me to confess their feelings. Then I will wake up and point my finger at them and laugh. Because that is a good joke to play on somebody and you shouldn't worry about feelings at a time like that. Just sit back and enjoy the joke.

Love confessions also remind me of the time that my sister thought that her then-boyfriend told her "I love you". So she said it back. Then he was all "Eh?" And she realized he didn't say that at all. What did he say? I don't remember. Maybe my sister will be kind enough to finish the story in the comments. Well, they are married now. So, see? Jokes and mistaken love lead to long term happiness.