Today I feel different than yesterday.
Yesterday I thought I had cancer. I went to the hospital, had my "lump" manhandled by Dr. Idon'tknowwhatthehellI'mdoing and he cleared me of the ravage. It's just lymphitis, he said. It took him about 40 seconds of hemming and hawing to decide thats what he was going to call the lump. Is it a muscle inflammation? A swollen lymph node? Who knows. Just write something down, man, you went to school for 20 years just for situtions like this.
So how did I celebrate being cancer free? Well, I went to a death metal show, of course.
Sepultura.
They are this Brazilian death metal/thrash/hardcore band from Brazil that has been around for like 20 years. 20 YEARS! And I got to witness the madness that is Sepultura.
The androgenous dress and hairstyle of the men and women made it difficult to determine the boy/girl ratio. But I'm pretty sure the majority of the concert attendees were 30-something IT nerds, with a permanent residence in their parents basement. Not that there is anything wrong with living in your parents basement. I'm just saying.
I had my fair share of head bobbing and banging. But this morning, it became apparent that I am just a novice as my head and neck have been racked with pain and tenderness all day.
Today my lump is angry. But atleast its a cancer free anger.
10 comments:
Oh I am damn jealous that you got to see Sepultura. Those guys are huge. Oh and be careful with the lump if it sticks around. Remember our gay roommate? We thought his lump was a goiter. The first doctor said that it was an inflamed gland and that after he took it out Sky Guy may have uncontrolled sweating from the spot where the gland used to be. The third doctor confirmed that the lump was lymphoma. I probably shouldn't be writing this because it may freak you out, but just be careful. Oh and if the lump turns you gay like Sky Guy, can D-Rock and I set you up? We know this hottie from Alabama that would be perfect...
rookie. you should experience the heinous 40-something crowd of parents (and their kids, god bless 'em) trying to relive the 'good old days' of the late 80s when music was in the infancy of its industrial period.
ladies and gentlemen, may i present to you, the band that dares to call itself a musical group, KMFDM.
-shudder-
I thought I had a lump once on the mission. It was wierd, but I told the other elders in my zone and started an epidemic of missionaries going to the doctor(it might have helped that the doctor was way out of our mission and in the pretty, touristy parts of Buenos Aires). I didn't have a lump, but at least I started a movement.
Oh, and if you do turn gay, go for the Alabama girl. If I were a gay woman, I'd be all over that like white on rice or spanish on spanish rice.
Thanks for assuaging my cancerphobia.
The fear is back.
Crap. I totally feel like I suck more than usual, and that's quite a bit. Sorry about the scare. If you were here we'd go out for ice cream to make things better. Lumps are a funny thing, I mean I have them come and go. Maybe you are just getting your lumps confused with your humps. Your lovely lady humps, or lumps. What's the difference between a hump and a lump again? What am I supposed to be lusting after?
Julie, I used to have a lump on my neck and now it has migrated and grown to an enormous mountain on my belly! And it keeps moving and kicking! Be very afraid....
And I think the word "assuage" sounds like a butt massage, which sounds pretty nice.
jenny, it's assuage. not assage [soft g]
Hey, who's the English muffin major here? I say butt massage!
I had a butt massage today. Then I ate an english muffin. Ok, I didn't eat one, but now I crave.
I had a butt massage today. Then I ate an english muffin. Ok, I didn't eat one, but now I crave.
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