May 6, 2013

Today is May 6.

Tomorrow I turn 31, which is extremely auspicious and exciting, given that 31 is a prime number and it feels more stable than some loosey goosey age 30 that can be divided again and again. 31 is going to be a good year, I can feel it.

I loved turning 30. I loved closing the door to my wild and messy 20's. My 20's were a decade of exploration, of figuring out who I was, and boy did I search a lot for myself before settling down to who I am today. My 20's were very fun, interspersed with too much drama, tears, sloppiness, college, grad school, building and building, working towards something I wasn't sure where the end was...and now I am 30. And my first year of my 30's was quite a good one. But I realized a few things, things that I will be working on in this next year.

1. I heard recently that there are two types of people: givers and takers. In relationships, it is great to have both types to balance the needs and desires of both people. And I've realized I am far too much of a taker, and also how great it feels to be a giver. I've really been working on not just giving of my time and talents, but also of myself. I easily shut down and turn inward in many situations, and even when I'm giving to someone, my heart is not always in it. I want to be a giver in year 31, a giver of my heart.

2. I want to wake up early. I have felt defeated by my sleep needs for so long. I get tired, must sleep, and cannot wake up. And everything that is required of me makes me grumpy because darn-it-all I just want to sleep. But I've been experimenting in the past month. One night, Henry woke up at 2AM coughing and couldn't go back to sleep. He was, in fact, wide awake. So instead of fighting it and letting him watch youtube on my phone like I wanted to do, I woke up with him and read some books. We played with a few trucks quietly, and about 20 minutes later, I held him in my arms and sang him back to sleep. It was blissful and peaceful and I fell in love so hard in that moment. What a difference waking up makes. This weekend, I woke up before everyone else and crept downstairs to make pancakes on Sunday morning and banana bread on Monday morning. I love being up early with the morning light pouring through the windows and the crisp cool air flowing in over my toes. Waking up early is my time to drink a cup of tea, read the paper, and get my head on straight before starting the day. I love it.

3. And I say this every year, but I'm going to work my body this year. I want my defined muscles back and I want to get rid of those last 10 pounds of baby weight once and for all. I gained some of it back when I stopped breastfeeding a few months ago and I'm really ready to feel slimmer again.

31 is going to be a good year. I think it will be a year of change, and a year that will require me being a giver, an early riser, and being kind to my body. I think it's going to be a good one.

1 comment:

The Sullengers said...

It's crazy to think that college was over 10 years ago! I hope you had a great birthday and I hope you achieve all your goals!