1. We got back to London from Paris on a Friday night and Mark left for Tokyo Saturday morning. He was gone for a week, and during that time I totally killed it. Did some job research, meal planning, started reading 2 different books (The Invisible Man and Nora Ephron's Heartburn), and planned a fun activity every day to do with Henry. It was a good week, but I was ready for Mark to come back on Friday evening and be my husband and Henry's Dad. :)
3. The biggest and dumbest thing of all: I've been talking with Henry about giving his pacifier to the baby animals at the zoo, or the baby fishies in the river (he is 27 months old and we try to just keep the pacifier to naps and night night time only, but he's been more insistent about it lately during the day and has lots of tantrums all the time. I'm over it!), so Thursday morning when we were standing in front of the Globe Theatre watching boats pass by us, and he chucked his pacifier right into the Thames. And I thought, well this is it - it's time to get rid of Henry's baba. He used to go straight down for naps and sleep for 3 hours, but now there is weeping and wailing and down to only about 2 hours of nap time. And night night time has turned into an epic excuse factory to keep him from bed, and I basically have to put him down laughing or he will be too sad and just cry cry cry. It breaks my heart! But we are 5 days in now, and there's no turning back. It's getting better now.
Whenever he asks me for his baba, I ask - where is your baba?
In the river! Threw it off the bridge!
At the zoo with baby animals!
It doesn't help that my dad has totally laid the guilt trip on me for taking it away from him - comparing it to someone throwing my iphone into the Thames. Rude.
Anyway, it's been a crazy past week, and I'm ready to turn a page. I have a few things on my radar that are just for me, which help me feel more like a human and less like a caretaker with nothing left to give. Taking care of a toddler and a broken husband is a lot of work and I have not taken care of myself at all the past 2 weeks. I really need to learn the art of balancing taking care of others and not letting myself fall by the wayside. It is a complete mystery to me.