Apr 5, 2007

Confessions of a Post-Teenage impoverished woman

I don't really get the boyfriend thing like I used to.

From the time I was in high school until basically 2 years ago, I had a boyfriend. I don't think I was one of those girls who need a boyfriend, rather I just kept meeting boys with potential.
Either my standards have been rising, or I am not getting out enough. I just can't imagine having a boyfriend at this point in my life. With my spare time, I would rather be:
1. Hanging out with friends
2. Exploring the city
3. Going to shows
4. Cooking/Baking
5. Watching a movie from my queue
6. Going to dinner with my dad or mom
7. Organizing my stuff
8. Planning trips
9. Catching up on The Office or Arrested Development
10. Meeting new people
11. Learning double dutch
12. Hiking
13. Writing stories or songs

Basically I could go on and on. And guys, I realize that most of these things (with the exception of #11 and perhaps #6) can be done with a guy in tow, but I don't want them to be. The whole idea of having a boyfriend just seems silly to me. I would never want anyone to hold me back from what I am planning on doing in life or my current projects. I think if I were to have a boyfriend he would interfere. Am I selfish? I don't think so. And its not like I think "all the good ones are taken" or "woah is me, I don't have a boyfriend". Please, I know how to get the job done:

I have just finally tapped into the exciting life of a single girl and I'm not ready to succumb to coupledom quite yet. What I really need right now is a boy who will take me out and pay for all my wants and needs. All I need is a couple pair of shoes so I can look hot for you, and a season pass to Kings Dominion. And maybe a house in Ecuador. But that's all. Please sign up in comments below. I will be reviewing applicants all weekend.

Thank you and good luck to you.


Cara said...

Obviously I can't be your boyfriend - although I'm probably better than all the applicants to be, but I wish you would have realized this back in college. I loved being single until I met Kash of course, but being single was what I loved! I just wish we could have enjoyed this new found thought back then...maybe we can go back in time to living in that annoying house with the crazy, amish neighbors and the stupid stupid stupid landlord and back to our skate boarding days (how is the skateboard by the way?) and back to dying our hair and sleeping together... I have some of the best pictures of us that I will send to you soon! Cause they bring back so many memories. So in a way, I guess I was sort of your pimp back in those days! I mean, we did sleep together for about 1 year and a half or so (part of that time on a twin)


Any comments...

Iggy Enigma said...

applause. i am right there with you. well. except for maybe #7. and i would change the wording on #5. it would read, "watching a movie from YOUR queue." the whole boyfriend thing has definitely lost its magic. i mean, don't get me wrong, guys are great, i like them a lot, and i support having more of them in this world. they just aren't magical.

Jenny said...

Oprah today was on empowering the single woman. A married woman stood up and commented and Her majesty mowed her down. Then an uuuugly single woman commented and Oprah gave her a car. Ok, not really. I like the new look. And also, it's "wo is me" not "woah" unless you are talking to a horse. wakka wakka wakka. heh heh

Idaho Rob said...

Nomad, I am happily engaged to be married. Though if you are interested in bigamy...I have a house in Idaho, and an apartment in Utah. I enjoy lavishly spoiling my wives. And I have no idea what kings dominion is. but you can have season pass.

nomadic gnome said...

Cara - You really did know what was going on back in the day. My apologies for dating Hairy Man and wasting my time with the likes of Missionary Boy and Punk Skunk. Send those pics to me!

Iggy - Will you be my girlfriend?

Jenny - Are you sure its not "woe"?

Idaho Rob - Let's make it a double wedding. She can get you and all that entails, and I will be the overseer of the finances and properties. Game on.

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