I have been trying to buy some boots for awhile. I just want a pair of cute, professional, somewhat sassy black boots. I've looked high and low, but cannot afford most of the boots I like (upwards of $250). So last night I was out doing all the shopping and discovered the Nine West Boot Sale!!
Fortuitous happenstance!
So I tore through the store, picking out boot after boot to try on. Just me and my iPod. Me and Band Of Horses just picking out the boot of my dreams. After about 20 minutes of pacing around the store in each possible new boot and becoming increasingly frustrated with my inability to find a good pair, I had to ask someone else.
See, usually when girls go shopping, they go in groups or with another girl so they can get The Opinion. Without this Opinion, they are in danger of making a grave mistake. I can attest to this mistake. Right now, if you look in my closet you will find the following:
1. oversized sweater vest
2. grey jeans that don't fit properly
3. pants that can only be described as culottes
4. black shoes that my mom might wear
5. black shirt with fluttery wing-like long sleeves
I have bought all these items in the past 4 months. I need The Opinion when I shop or I make regrettable purchases. Very. Regrettable.
Anyway I had no shopping partner last night, so I approached 2 lovely looking young ladies. I asked them which boot they preferred. We deliberated and they decided that the boot on the left foot looked much better. (really? but the right boot is so cute! i love the details!) But...they gave me The Opinion I was seeking out. It was settled. And against my better judgement, I trusted that Opinion more than my own instinct.
I returned home with my spoils and put the boots on to take a look in the personal comforts of my home. I put them on and gasped. GASPED. I bought whore boots. How did I not see this in the store?? The pointy toes...the knee length...the stiletto heel...the silver detail on the back...SH*T. I started thinking back on what me "friends" in the store told me. "I like the way that boot makes your foot look arched" or "Those are sexy boots!"
So after some deep thinking, I realized that these girls were not any normal girls. They were probably ladies of the night. And I trusted their opinion because...well...they looked pretty damn hot. But I am not a "hot girl". I am a "cute girl". I buy cute girl boots, not whorrish sexy boots.
I'm taking back those boots tonight. And next time I solicit somebody's Opinion, I will first ask them what their occupation is and whether or not they like cheap sex. Hopefully, this will allow for a more fulfilling shopping experience that will result in my continued cuteness and my decreasing whore-ishness, an image I've been trying to shed since my cheerleading days. Damn the cheerleaders.
2 comments:
I am SO disappointed in you right now. First, why does the assistant to the regional manager at Arby's not buy the $250 boots for you? Why have you not tapped that yet? Second, you never know where a whorish pair of boots will get you. A pair of whorish boots with a pointy toe took a redheaded girl from Idaho into prime time. It is unbelievable that you relegate yourself to being a cute girl. You should be trying to embrace your cheerleader days. Have you not seen "I want to look like a high school cheerleader again" on the CMT? This is the dream for which you should aspire. And the cheap sex you speak of is the good sex. You find out afterward that the expensive sex wasn't worth all the build-up for the two or three minutes of pleasure. What would the Alias girl do in your situation? I don't see her backing away from a little bit of whore wardrobe. I think you need to take a day off and watch a steady diet of E!, the Style network, My Super Sweet 16, and possibly Flip That House. Maybe then you will see the light. Oh and at least post a photo of the boot and let people vote on what you should do with the boot before you take it back.
I read this post right before I left to do some Christmas shopping at the mall. It inspired me. I did get some little gifts for my friends, but the biggest purchase was a pair of Nine West sling-back, black, patten pumps. They are beautiful. I was going to buy two pair, but am still "thinking" about the second.... thanks for the inspirational post!
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