Jul 17, 2006

Santa, you could use a new coat of paint

Remember fantasizing about the North Pole as a child? Imagining all the dancing elves in the pointy shoes and the reindeer clomping about with jingling sleigh bells strewn around their neck, wondering what fabulous gifts were being made especially for you at santa's workshop. The North Pole had to be an enchanting land, with its barber striped pole serving as the landmark to every child's dreams.

I saw this North Pole last night, and it was a sad, sad lonely place.

North Pole, Alaska. A huge paper-maiche santa clause, two depressed and emaciating reindeer, even the McDonalds pole was decorated with a red ribbon to serve as a beacon of holiday cheer. The windows are shot out in ithe safeway store, there are more bars than gas stations, one appropriately referred to as "The Elves Den". Because I'm sure everyone in that bar had atleast three of the following: a beard, permanently "rosy" cheeks, a penchant for merriment, and a keen patron of all things make believe.

Despite all these dismal Christmas blues, there was one item that saves the town from complete uselessness. That would be the mailbox from which you can send letters that are postmarked from "The North Pole". I don't care who you are, that'll bring joy to anyones heart. Even if it is two sizes too small.