Dass It.

Alright.

I'm taking a break.

6 years ago I dated this guy. We'll call him Mike. Mike was such a great guy. He understood women, and more importantly he understood me. We had interesting and intellectual conversations, shared in the joys of art, we even painted the beer shack together. I still carry many memories with me today and habits established while dating him. One of the habits I acquired has been plaguing me since it's conception and I am going to end it today.

You see, I was not the only one who loved Mike. My roommates also loved Mike. Not just because he played a mean Metallica cover on his gee-tar, but because every week he would grace us with a magical magazine full of wonderment and urbanlore. What was the name of this magazine? US Weekly. At first we thought it was called U.S. Weekly, like it was an actual legitimate magazine. However, we quickly learned the ways of the mag and looked forward to its delivery by Mike every week. We craved the gossip. We had to know What Did Jessica's Wedding Dress Look Like? And Why Was Ally McBeal So Damned Skinny? We grew to love US Weekly and thought nothing of its possible repercussions to the subject matter.

I have passed this love of the magazine to other members of my family and have now made celebrity gossip Text Worthy and Gchat Worthy. My friends and I talk about Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Sampson, and Britney Spears like they are old friends of ours from high school or something. I thought I was making progress because I stopped buying the magazine. But I really was just moving to electronic form and have moved on to more dangerous items -- celebrity gossip blogs. I can't see anything good coming out of my knowledge of this industry, so I am going to quit cold turkey. I would also like to strongly encourage others to do the same.

Why this new found need to abhore all things celeb? It is due to recent events in the lives of celebutants such as Brit Brit and Lindsay. These girls are in way over their heads and in a mixed-up place of druglandia. They are trying to get help and the papparazzi won't leave them alone. It is ruining their lives, so they can't even utilize the anonymity of AA or other rehab places. I honestly feel guilty for contributing to their problems. So I am going to stop reading the online sites. I will stop reading magazines. I will start caring about more than Brangelina and Who is Justin Timberlake Dating.

Promise.