For murry.

It is June 26th. The day my sister, Mary came into the world 21 years ago. Welcome to adulthood/spinsterdom my dear sister! The land of barren women whose most aching desire is to be married and have lots and lots of last-minute babies. You might have to give away all your cats before you move in together and start a life of bliss, but that's just a pebble on the beach of happiness. I wish you good luck on the trail of tears. If you ever need a hug or a pint of Ben and Jerry's, I'm only 15 states away.

Let me advise you on a few things to be aware of now that you have crossed the threshold and are not getting any younger:

1. Candy striping is a great way to surround yourself with other pregnant women and whose newborn babies you can hold and pretend they are your own.
2. Going out with several boys at a time is a great practice, and strongly encouraged my your big sister. For it is there in the comfort of your Man Heram, that one may remain unslighted by the ways of the world and stay focused on your single spinster dreams.
3. A pint of Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream goes a long way. I try to keep at least 2 on hand.
4. Make an effort to have on-screen boyfriends with whom you can cultivate long lasting relationships and unfettered romances. A few examples:
Haha, just kidding with Keanu. Even though he was so hot in Pointbreak. Vaya Con Dios.
5. Lastly, please remember that you should be always reaching your arms out to other spinster women around you, so you can slap them across their cheek if they ever get in your way.

Godspeed and many well wishes. If I were with you, I would take you to The White Owl for a proper 21 year old bash. Loves!