You are all painfully aware of my beard love, and as an aficionado of manly facial hair, I would like to tell a few men out there what constitutes good FH vs. bad FH.
Exhibit A
Sick.Sick, sick, sick. First you have Stewart Townsend (r) who is growing what can only be described as premature Brigham beard. Then Shane West (l) is sporting that ridiculous goatee that should have never been paired with the frosted tips and waxed eyebrows. Too much Tybalt, not enough Romeo. Seriously, Shane. We get it. You're "good looking". Stop trying ridiculous beauty tricks to try to enhance that.
Exhibit B
I realize that George Clooney would have a hard time looking bad...well...ever. But I don't care. This is a great beard. It's so salt and peppery and coarse. It's so thick and full. This is what men should aspire to in life. This kind of beard. Who cares about hair loss? Grow in the beard.
Exhibit C
Ryan Gosling is such a talented actor. Despite all the Notebook garbage, he has some real clout in the acting world. But that's not why I'm writing this. Some people just have the ability to pull off the facial hair. On someone else, this look might go completely awry. They may look like a dirty meth dealer. But Ryan transcends all that and completely pulls ahead of the game with this brilliant display of FH. Well played, Gosling. Well played.Exhibit D
I know, I know. But it wouldn't be a post about beards if I didn't have Sam Beam to back me up. I adore him. He (Iron and Wine) is coming out with a new album shortly and will be touring again in the Fall. Be sure to check it out and to set his picture as your background.
I would like to admonish all men to take the time to really find their beard style. Not all men are cut out for the full length double feature beard. And most men should never grow a goatee. If you are growing an ironic mustache, then I say A POX ON YOU! Stop it already with the ironic mustache. Because unless you are Brandon Flowers, the likelihood of you being able to pull that off is nill.
4 comments:
i agree. and this post makes me want to run out and find more, more, MORE pictures of delicious beards to drool over. but i do think you're overreacting. ambassadors of the ironic moustache deserve punishment: a severe spanking, yes. a life without love, yes. a plague of locusts, yes. but to wish smallpox upon them? now you're just being mean.
Well now I need your opinion about when I had a goatee. I want it honestly, and perhaps some tips on what type of beard I should grow. Please note that I have a reverse Hitler stacher as I am unable to grow hair under the center of my nose. If I have followed one creed in my life - other than the Scott Stapp Creed - it is that if I don't have Julie's approval, I'm failing at this life, and I will fail through the eternities. Thanks.
A pox isn't that bad. These days it is easily cured. But then you have those nasty scars to remind everyone of what a jackass you are.
And eric, I totally dug your goatee. You pulled it off. However, remember when Norm had his thing? That was NO BUENO. Derek however, could pull off one hell of a stache.
I need to scrapbook all of my various facial hair schemes from over the years. Obviously I am not as daring now since I am a "professional" and "married", but I have had some decent styles over the years. Maybe I'll grow a summer beard for you. I agree on the judgements of Norm and D-Rock. Norm actually does a beard pretty well now, but his hair is sort of a weird color and it makes it hard to define with just a goatee. D-Rock is like a god to me as far as facial hair goes. He can do no wrong.
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