Aug 4, 2008

Getting off the island

Emergency! Emergency! If a huge monster attacks Manhattan I have no way of escaping!!!

Last night I stupidly watched a horror movie about Manhattan being attacked by an alien/monster creature. Cloverfield. Pretty dumb movie and totally improbable plotline, but still encourages one to be very aware of the dangers of being on a heavily populated island. This monster attacks the city and every person in manhattan clamors for the nearest bridge or tunnel. Herein lies the problem. I live in what is probably the worst neighborhood for escaping the island in that there are no bridges or tunnels within a 50 block radius.

See - I live around 110th on the upper west side. All the bridges are either north of 125 or south of 60th. I'm totally screwed. I would be quickly consumed or crushed by the monster. I think the quickest way off the island would be to cross the Triborough Bridge that crosses over the craziest island in America, Wards Island.

Here is a description of Wards island via our friend wikipedia: The island is home to several public facilities, including Manhattan Psychiatric Center, Kirby Forensic Psychiatric Center (which serves the criminally insane), and a New York City Department of Environmental Protection wastewater treatment plant.

Oh great.
This is just where I want to be when we are bring attacked by aliens. On an island with crazy people and all of new yorks poo supply. Sick.

Regardless or irregardless, I will be preparing a 72 hour kit this week filled with the following:
1. headlamp
2. granola bars and cans of vienna sausages
3. water
4. an extra ipod
5. madlibs
6. crossword puzzles
7. a cute puppy

What else should I pack? I'm thinking I already have all the essentials, but I welcome your feedback and suggestions. In all seriousness, I think its so important to have one of these kits lying around and I can't believe I've procrastinated it for so long.

I'm also going to prepare escape routes from the city, depending on where I might be during an attack. I'm also going to read up on how to quickly fashion a makeshift boat in the case that I cannot access a bridge or tunnel.

See the monster get me NOW.

1 comment:

JD said...

ok. hilarious. and comforting to know that you watch dumb movies, too.

the list was like those exercises we had in elementary school where you get stuck on the moon or something and have to prioritize 15 items that you have with you... anybody do these? i'm just blabbing.