I have an amazing offer to tell you about that you should NOT pass on.
Have you felt that oh-so-special pang in your heart lately? The need to reach out and help the needy and less fortunate around you? Well, look no further. For a limited time, you can adopt a grad student!
Grad students all over the world are in need of a help that you can provide. They are very easy to care for and rarely require maintenance as they are hardly around for you to assess their needs. They will send you mass amounts of youtube clips, and make attempts to establish a bond between the two of you using various tactics including, but not limited to: jokes about economists, invitations to panel discussions, and reverenced talks of recycling.
Now, from time to time, they may experience minor, or in rare cases major, breakdowns. When a grad student breaks down, it is not irreparable damage. A large cup of steaming tea, a large bag of doritos, some chocolate cake, and a movie with high school humor is all that is need to restore the grad student to full capacity.
Adopt your grad student today and we'll throw in a free 12-pack of diet coke.
Warning: adopting one grad student may result in the unavoidable adoption of 3-4 grad students.
Apply forthwith in comment section.
2 comments:
applying right now. my qualification is that I was the first to comment.
Where do I sign up as an in need/at risk grad student?
Post a Comment