Jul 24, 2007

I love you. Let me count the ways.



Everyone's favorite child star wizard! Child star wizard turned...blech. Why does he look so skeevy? I've been racking my brain to figure out how our cute little Potter turned from this into the adult he is today. Well, here are some things that I think would make Harry Potter look a little more...natural.

1. Tan. For the love of Hermione, get a freaking tan. You're skin is translucent and you are soon going to be mistaken for a dementor if you keep wearing black clothing.
2. Do something about those eyebrows! The problem is, the rest of him looks so girlish that the bushy eyebrows are just throwing me off. They look like caterpillers attacking his face. Take care of it.
3. Stop faking that smile. I think what good ol boy needs is one of those bite guards. I feel like he probably has grinded his teeth into nothingness. He always looks like he's just moving those chompers back and forth with his mouth closed. Just relax, geez.
4. Maybe sleep a little bit. Either that or lay off the drugs. Your eyes always look like a 22 year old college drop out. Red...watery...psychotic...I don't know. Maybe invest in some visine.
5. Stop posing in awkward positions for MENS magazines! Blech.

Seriously. If you just take these simple words of wisdom to heart, maybe you will be able to stop Voldemort. I mean, I haven't read book 7 yet and I don't know your fate, but I think you should hold on to atleast a little dignity. Start now.

Oh and as self-proclaimed facial hair advisor, please would you please stop trying to grow a beard? It's not working yet and it just makes you look a little more...skeevy.

3 comments:

leslie said...

awwww. it's like with Dumbledore. the actor that played Harry in the first movie was so much better than the current one.

each of the two said...

i am so disturbed to have voluntarily seen his wang.

i am so immature.

Julie said...

Iggy - I have no idea where he went. I want him back.

EOO2 - You saw Nekkie Harry Potter? Do tell!