Gahhhh

I'm feeling very melodramatic lately, as a certain number of events have recently taken place in my life to make me feel so inclined.

1. Boy drama
2. School decisions
3. Work hatred
4. More boy drama
5. Listening to angsty music (read: Blonde Redhead, Sage Francis, Glos)

I don't want to go into too much detail on the ole blog here, but I can't seem to make any concrete decisions about boys, school, or work. And it's extremely frustrating. I've been seeing a couple different guys over the past few months and one of them is kind of sticking, but I'm not so sure I want it to. It's so hard to find comfort in a relationship and to find somebody who you can rely on as a source of love, comfort, support, understanding, fun, and stimulating converstaion. I used to find this fairly often when I was younger. The older I become, however, the harder it is to find a boy who fits into these categories. I feel like I had it recently...and then ran away from it. It was too good.

I have been accepted to some AMAZING grad programs both locally and further up the eastern seaboard. I'm very excited but really scared to make the change and possibly make a move. I know which school I should go to, but I'm thinking about applying to a community college just so I don't have to deal with the scary.

Work is kicking my trash lately and I have been calling in sick and going on vacations to get away from it. I have a really great opportunity to gain some professional and more advanced experience, but I'm terrified. And I don't know if I'll take the offer. I just want to sit at home and do nothing.

I have run-away syndrome. Something starts going well in my life and I get scared and the sabotage begins. I know I can change this - I just need to find my motivation.