so long, office!

winding down, after 2.5 years of coming into this job every day. today marks the last day of working non-parent. from here on out, any job i have, i will be a working mom! a mom, i tell you!

i can't tell you how happy i am that i gave a definative end-date before baby. there's no way i could continue to come in day after day. my belly has doubled in size over the past couple of weeks and it's getting a little awkward sitting in business meetings with a basketball shaped bump under my shirt.

after today, if anybody wants to find me, i'll be:
at home planted firmly on the couch,
taking long walks around the neighborhood, or
eating spicy, spicy food

happy weekend!

It's done

Yesterday I walked into my boss's office and put in my notice that I would be leaving to go to grad school. My heart was pounding, but I had to do it because I was about to get a promotion and I couldn't have felt right about accepting the promotion knowing that I would be leaving in 1 1/2 months.

So after telling my work that I'm getting the H out of Dodge - I'm feeling like this decision is actually real. I really am going to quit my job. I really am going to move to Manhattan. I really am going to Columbia University. I really am going to have a really hard, intense year of studying and learning and growing and trying to survive on my own without knowing a SOUL in the city. It's a bit intimidating, but I'm starting to feel like - just maybe - I can do this.

Another item that sweetens the deal is that I get to quit my JOB! I love working here, but it's been a challenge to get things accomplished that I feel I'm capable on doing. One thing that is definite is this job helped shape my career path and focus my professional goals - I've learned so much about the energy sector, being a "professional" and learning how to behave in an office environment (no, its not ok to turn up your computer speakers when your watching a video with "buttcheeks" being screamed in the background). I've also learned how to keep plants alive in low sunlight, how to smile at people you don't really know who are always walking by your cubicle, and that you must put your name on food items in the fridge or people WILL eat them.

And yet ANOTHER item that sweetens the deal is that right after I quit, me and Iggy are going to go on a vacay for our double birthdays!! Somewhere warm and somewhere with an ocean for me to lay in front of and sip cold beverages as I run my fingers through the sand. Ahhhh...I can hardly stand the wait.

However, with all these great opportunities, I'm finding it really hard to deal with the reality that I'll be moving, leaving the city of poliical love, leaving my dearest friends and my family, going to a strange and unfamiliar place, ugh. I was hanging up pictures in my room last night even though I won't be there for much longer. I'm looking for rugs and furniture for the house even though I am leaving. I'm making new friends in the neighborhood to hang out with, even though I'll probably never see them after April. I can't help but feel a little sad about all this. I mean - it's the END of an ERA!!

Oh the holidays are such a joyous time!

I just finished my first graduate school APPLICATION!!!! w00t!

And I get to go to NYC this weekend!!

And in about 15 minutes, it's our holiday office party! All you can eat chinese and then happy hour all afternoon. Can it get any better than this?

Oh it can. I just got a christmas bonus!! My first Christmas bonus...grad school applications...weekend trips...I feel like such a grownup.

Walking Follies

Someone just walked by my little cube.

They didn't just walk, however. They ran. Why would a person run in the office, you might be wondering? I'll tell you. I heard this person trip on something before they came into view, and they just pretended they were running instead of following through with the trip! It really made me laugh, because I do things like that all the time.
"Oh no, I totally wanted to start running after that large crack in the sidewalk. Yes, I've been planning on it since I saw the crack."

Right. We all know that running after a trip is a total waste of pride, because we KNOW what you're doing.

The Run After Tripping incident reminded me of something else I see. Walking to work in the morning, I walk beside a large glass-windowed building. I like to play a game with those walking in front of me. I like to count the number of times the person watches themselves walk. You would be amazed how many people are narcissistic around here. I mean, even as VAIN as I am - I only take a glance every once in a while. Certainly not every day and CERTAINLY not 10 times within one block! Good Grief.

Can you think of any other walking follies? I love a good tripping/falling story, as you might have heard.

Wicked score

I've had my eye on this gem since the day I started working here.
Because we are moving offices, they are disposing of some artwork and I was lucky, so lucky, to get to this before anyone else did!
I'm trying to figure out where to hang it in my humble abode. Something like this deserves a spotlight or it's own pet kitten or something.

sadness=increased Monster consumption

Waking up today was sad. I heard the rain and I just wanted to stay in bed. I wanted to call in sick. One of those days. Until I discovered THESE TIGHTS:

Than I paired them with a cute black skirt, a black sweater vest and a cute white ruffled shirt.

I looked seriously hot in my looking glass today.

I stole my roommates umbrella to keep me dry.
Then I bought this to ease my troubled mind:

Today, I'm kicking ass and taking names.

I seriously love Monster so much, I don't think you guys understand the level of comfort it brings me. It's the equivalent of my duckie blanket or Jenny's Pinkie that she STILL has after like 23 some odd years. And she gave it to her daughter to pass along the habit. I just hope she doesn't sniff it like Laura did with her old blanket. Aww, I want sniffing blanket Laura back.
I don't know what I'm going to do when they stop making the drink. Is this the sort of fear that came true for all of the Crystal Clear Pepsi fans? (Don't worry, there is totally a support group.)
A haiku for you:

Ginseng and Taurine
coat my pharynx with blue
Now I know true love

Now go have a great day, my little fauns. And if the day is wearing you down, look no further than your neighborhood grocer for the lo-carb Monster.

Even when I party, I'm working

Me and TH and coworkers at a Superfun Work Party.
We were the youngest people there and I'm pretty sure this photo was only taken for documentation purposes.

Yes we DID! We definitely had some young people at that party. I'm sure of it...Where's that photo?
SEE? We DID.

I'm not sure why the proportions are so off in this picture. TH looks very small. And coworker on my left is definitely not that tall. Maybe the washed up illusionist magician David Copperfield took this picture.

Decisions are a dime a dozen.

Why did I come to work today?

1. I was late.
2. Friday breakfast was not what it usually is. Teensy bagels and grapes.
3. Our offices are moving in 2 weeks and everyone chose today to start packing.

Let's focus on #3.
The storage room is right across from my little cube. Apparently, today was the day that everyone felt they needed to start throwing things away and packing up crates. 6 garbage bags later, and with 5 people yelling and laughing and carrying on - I was literally trapped in my cube. I finally just got up, hopped over the garbage bags, and went downstairs to hang out with some coworkers. I seriously couldn't even work until about 30 minutes ago. And NOW the day is almost over! How am I supposed to find work to do in the next 2 1/2 hours?

Oh in other news, I don't think I'll be doing an international development MA after all. Grads from these programs keep spilling their regrets to me, and I'd rather not be a broke 28 year old who can't find a job and can't pay her student loans. Forget it. So...what do I do, then? I have other options, but I'm really thinking about just going for a PhD. Yeah, it's more commitment, and more dedication - but I'm actually a very dedicated and committed individual (contrary to popular belief).
The international degree would be so much fun and so interesting, but I've been afraid to apply to some program that would just waste my time. UnLESS I went to grad school in the UK, where the programs are only a year. Hey, why not? I like pims and The Clash and I even enjoy an occasional snog.

I need a life coach. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Today is a day of nothing in particular

Because I have lost my battery charger to the same place all the socks go, joining up with sticks up butter and being replaced with an overABUNDANCE of mugs (seriously! What is the deal with everyone always having too many mugs? I've never been to a house where this hasn't been a problem. I guess it's not a problem, as much as the fact that I don't have enough hot chocolate to constantly keep the mugs filled).
ANYWAY - I was planning to have my first installment of something which required my camera, but the battery is totally dead and I am left with questions and a furrowed brow, and I'll be honest, I'm a little scared.
So in no particular order, here are my most pressing thoughts for the day:

1. Because I am totally BROKE and can't afford any more extravagant Rocktober events, I am relegated to spending my time on the world wide web looking for freebies in the DC area. If you know of any, please pass them along. The Millenium Stage at the Kennedy Center has free performances every day at 6, but who wants to pay $15 for parking or take that stupid shuttle? Clearly not Gnomie. 12 days left in Rocktober and it will NOT beat me.

2. I realize I'm only 25 and it's not that old, but I'm sorry I cannot bring myself to dress up for any more halloween parties. It's too much for me. Maybe if I was going to some ball or a great gatsby type costume party, it would be fun. But
a) I've always sucked at coming up with costumes
b) I don't want to surround myself with this years "cats", "bunnies" and "mice" with the ears and make up and tiny-little I'm Cute costumes. No thank you.
c) I just want to spend the holiday with kids who have no idea what is going on other than the fact that if they dress up like something and do what their parents say, they will receive copious amounts of candy. Like not even funny.
So, suck it halloween. I won't be participating this year.

3. Why do I have 3 bottles of white out at my desk? I don't think I've even used white out twice since the start of my job.

4. Seriously, where is my camera battery?

5. Shopping this weekend!!!

Everyone have a fantastic weekend.

I fell off the wagon

Remember this?

Maaaaan, it had been a really long time since I partook of the evil caffeine monster.
Then last week I had a great idea:
Self: Wow, I'm a little tired today. I wish I could sleep...but I have so much work to do!
Other Self: Hey Gnomie, remember when you used to drink monster all day and it would help keep you awake?
Self: Hmmm...yes...I DO recall. Oh yeah that's right. I would drink it in lieu of breakfast and lunch. I was so awake!
Other Self: Yes. You were awake and you were thin!!
Self: Yeah! I was thin! Land sakes, I should start drinking it again! Just for a couple days.

Fast forward to today:
I can't stop making silly jokes to my boss cause I can't wipe this goofy hepped-up grin off my face. My coworker just walked by and adjusted my dress strap which was falling off my shoulder making me look like a raging slutbag. This is in addition to my ill-applied whore-red lipstick in efforts to make my appearance more Put Together. I've got Crazy Eyes cause of the caffeine. You know - tired on the inside (bags) but wide-eyed and a little shaky (inability to focus).

Self: Maybe I should stop now while I'm still kind of ahead?

Other Self: Bottoms Up!!!

Connected

Sometimes I seriously, seriously freak myself out. I know I am always saying I have superpowers and insisting that I can control life on earth with these superpowers, but this time, I'm not joking around. My superpower has to do with mind control. And not just mind control, but syncing all the minds of those around me in order to get what I need at that exact moment.

Please allow me to explain.

I was sitting at my desk, feeling the 3 o clock munchies attack coming on. Suddenly, I had an overwhelming sensation that I needed chocolate. And I'm not one of those crazy chocoholic women or anything. But I knew that I needed it right then and there.

About 2 minutes later, my coworker came over and sighed heavily and gave me the I'm Tired and Cranky look. I was like - I know what you need. You need some chocolate. And she was like YES I DO! She then proceeded to tell me that about 2 minutes before coming to my desk she had this intense craving for chocolate and even had the taste in her mouth! Crazy. So as we are talking about this chocolate craze, another coworker hears us and comes running over with a HUGE SNICKERS BAR!!

She told us how she had pulled out a king sized snickers bar not even a minute before we started talking and just stared at it, thinking "how am I going to eat all of this" and then she heard us bitching about needing the chocolate fix.

So we all went to the kitchen to split our prized hunt into three equal parts. We stood silently on the linoleum floor as we inhaled the nougatey goodness before any crumbs even had a chance to fall on the floor. It was pure divinity.

Oh my word, how can you not believe I have superpowers in mind control after a life changing experience like this one? Please. I'm pretty sure that everything in my life that I have done has all been leading up to this very day and to this particular experience. Now that I've realized this gift, what should I do with these powers?

Sometimes I think that I am part of one big fat diet coke commercial

And then I realize, Oh, wait. It's just another day in the office.

Social Experiment #1: Dressing Like a Republican

Sometimes in life, it is necessary to step outside one's comfort zone. I decided today was the day. As I was deliberating on outfit choices last night, I put together a skirt and collared shirt combo. Very cute. As soon as I put it on, however, I realized I looked like a flaming conservative republican. Neatly pressed shirt in a conservative color. A khaki "safe" knee-length skirt. Brown peep-toe stilettos. Conservative jewelry. It all looks pretty good. I mean, I'm wearing it right now and I feel fine.

Here is the interesting part: I have been getting compliments all day...from republicans!! They all love my skirt! The shoes are so cute! So I have decided that this is the first of many social experiments involving politically swayed outfits. Stay tuned. Oh, does anyone have a peace sign necklace and bellbottoms I can borrow?