Connected

Sometimes I seriously, seriously freak myself out. I know I am always saying I have superpowers and insisting that I can control life on earth with these superpowers, but this time, I'm not joking around. My superpower has to do with mind control. And not just mind control, but syncing all the minds of those around me in order to get what I need at that exact moment.

Please allow me to explain.

I was sitting at my desk, feeling the 3 o clock munchies attack coming on. Suddenly, I had an overwhelming sensation that I needed chocolate. And I'm not one of those crazy chocoholic women or anything. But I knew that I needed it right then and there.

About 2 minutes later, my coworker came over and sighed heavily and gave me the I'm Tired and Cranky look. I was like - I know what you need. You need some chocolate. And she was like YES I DO! She then proceeded to tell me that about 2 minutes before coming to my desk she had this intense craving for chocolate and even had the taste in her mouth! Crazy. So as we are talking about this chocolate craze, another coworker hears us and comes running over with a HUGE SNICKERS BAR!!

She told us how she had pulled out a king sized snickers bar not even a minute before we started talking and just stared at it, thinking "how am I going to eat all of this" and then she heard us bitching about needing the chocolate fix.

So we all went to the kitchen to split our prized hunt into three equal parts. We stood silently on the linoleum floor as we inhaled the nougatey goodness before any crumbs even had a chance to fall on the floor. It was pure divinity.

Oh my word, how can you not believe I have superpowers in mind control after a life changing experience like this one? Please. I'm pretty sure that everything in my life that I have done has all been leading up to this very day and to this particular experience. Now that I've realized this gift, what should I do with these powers?