Bad things come in three's...

There are some ridiculous people in the world.

I know a few.

Others have escaped my inner social circle, but I still continue to berate them silently and now, on Nomadic Nourishment.



1. Shannyn Sossaman.
You may know her better as Lady Jocelyn from A Knights Tale or the lady that one guy wanted a piece of in 40 days and 40 nights. Or whatever that silly movie was called. Or you may, in fact, know her as the mother of a handsome baby boy, Audio Science. I know what you're thinking. Why does she spell her name with a y? And to that I have to say: I don't know. I don't know. And just so we're clear, she is very much into aural equations and calculations. And naming her babies after her obsession with said equations. *Shudder


2. Italian Greyhounds
Please understand, I love animals. I love dogs. I love greyhounds. I even love Italians. But this dog is utterly ridiculous. You could snap its legs like a wishbone and everyone I've ever seen is constantly shaking. I'm assuming the shakes are due to either its lack of fat content or its constant fear of being sat on by a fat American. It won't go outside if it's too cold or rainy. It will not rough house like a normal dog. I guess it wouldn't be so ridiculous if they put it in another animal category such as Dwarf Horse or Phytoplankton.

3. Monaco.

Alright. So it's not a person. But Monaco is the 2nd smallest country in the world. I would have made fun of the smallest, but it is the Vatican City and I would for the Pope to be on my good side. Just in case I ever decide to become catholic or a choir boy. But Monaco is basically a country full of yachts, rich naked sunbathers and Misha Barton. And I can't respect a country whose tourists have never seen a fannie pack or consumed a can processed cheese in their lifetime.

These are the three that shall never enter the inner sanctum of friendship. Maybe I will let Audio Science into my inner circle, eventually. But only because we could make fun of his mother together.