Ahem. Hello? (Tap, tap) Is thing on? (Applause) Oh...oh hi! Hello. Thanks...thank you...really, thanks so much. (applause quieting) Thank you all for coming. It's so nice to have you all here. I know you all have busy lives and work and school completely consumes your livelihood and I understand how hard it can be to break away. But we've all gathered here for a special occasion. Today is Thats right, today is the unveiling of the worlds NEWEST LEGAL HOTTIE!!! (massive cheering and appropriate amount of woots, along with rush of stage to obtain first date with newest 18 year old)
On such a special day as today, let's recognize our NLH and welcome her to adulthood.
As the first human to be honored on nomadic nourishment, you're probably thinking Wow, this NLH must have some pretty amazing credentials. And you are correct, my friend.
Periodically has birthday on Friday the 13th.
Owns amazing collection of uberbandgeek tshirts that she also obtains for her sister.
Temporarily driving the coolest car owned by any Irish-German we've ever met.
Loves darling coffee shops.
Convinces her Dad it's a good idea to let his young daughter go to HFStival.
Shares sleeping accomadations at the drop of a dime.
Rolls her eyes really well.
Macked on the bug boys.
Let her sisters shove her in a barbie corvette and push her around the house.
Allows her Stylist Sister to chop her locks, even when she knows Sister is scissor happy, and still loves Sister after haircut is total bullocks.
Will watch episode after episode of Newlyweds and What I Like About You without disdain.
Not afraid to paint her room green.
Shares my adoration for all things Soy.
Openly watches movies starring Hilary Duff AND Amanda Bynes.
Worked at Dominos.
Hung out with Copeland.
AND Infamously quoted as saying "We can't fit all the food in the suitcase, let's just pack it in ourselves".
Feel free to comment your own reasons to love this NLH. Also accepting applications for First Date with NLH.
Though it may appear otherwise in this photograph, I love my darling NLH sister. I think she's staring at my ring on the ole index. As you are a responsible adult now, I will let you borrow it from my expansive jewelry collection. Happy birthday, CL!!See you soon and take care of Ruby!!!