Sep 14, 2006
I'm no team player
It's that time of year again. The leaves start to change, the Autumn wind begins to pick up, the kids go back to school, and the sniffles come with barely any warning.
It begins with that one lady who comes into the office, complaining she couldn't sleep the night before. You hear the coughs coming from her cubicle with more frequency and intensity throughout the day. Then come the sneezes.
Let it soak in for a few days...then...BAM! Everyone in the office has a cold.
I am fighting it. I am really in a battle for my life. Not only because I don't have health insurance, but because once I get sick, it's over. I turn into the biggest whiner. I will take off work, lay in bed the entire day watching old episodes of Friends and indulging myself in movies such as Groundhog Day, Love Actually, and Robin Hood (Disney version). I will do this for atleast two days before even making any efforts to venture outside. And I won't take medicine for it because it makes me all shaky and sweaty. Plus I nearly loose it everytime I swallow that nasty cherry syrup. Western medicine completely baffles me. I think my behavior is residual behavior from when I was young and my mother babied the hell out of me. Not that I'm complaining. You better believe she's the first person I call when I'm sick. I know I can always count on her for the sympathy and love I'm in such desperate need of at times of ill health.
But for now, I'm being putting on my big girl face and I'm armed and ready to fight till the death. I have, right now, on my desk:
1. two oranges
2. hand sanitizer
3. zinc lozenges
4. two water bottles
5. yogurt, chock full of acidophilus
6. an old jar of raspberry jam with mold on the lid and top of jar
7. a piece of...wait...
MY JAM HAS MOLD IN IT??? I have been eating this jam all week, mixed up with my yogurt, and some pumpkin flaz granola and it's been the highlight of my mornings, every morning. I just discovered the mold. That can't be helping me in my combat.
Everyone is coughing around me. Everyone has head colds. Everyone is exchanging advice on how to get through the sick times. It's like the collective conscience of this office is totally operating at maximum capacity.
And I refuse, nay abhor the opportunity to join them.
I will stay healthy. I have ORANGES AND HAND SANITIZER! I'm good! If I can just last through the week, I'll win this game. Oh yes, I will defeat you acute nasopharyngitis.