I am taking a vacation.
You can't stop me. Don't even try to stop me. I've been fighting this for awhile because I want to go to Utah to visit my family and don't feel I can afford 2 trips. But at this point in my financially irresponsible life I'm realizing that I can do both. I will take a weekend trip to Utah, visit my babies, sit around and listen to my sisters fart and exchange lame jokes, and then return home and take a trip to somewhere in the tropical region.
So where should I go? Costa Rica? Puerto Rico? Aruba? Jamaica? Oh - Something that is unbelievable to mine ears - it is far cheaper for me to fly to Puerto Rico than Utah. That makes no sense to me.
I've been on the LGN (look-good-naked) diet for the past few weeks and I should be able to fit into my pants from the bulimia-era days in another month! Those days have such fond memories for me.
Things that make Gnomie thin:
1. Drinking copious amounts of monster
2. Drinking copious amounts of liquor
3. Not eating
4. Having an abusive jackass boyfriend
5. Stressing out about school/work
There's GOT to be a better way to LGN!! I'm currently trying a mixture of methods 1, 3, and 5 and so far it's working out ok for me. Whenever I try working out and eating healthy, my body feels so good. It starts to crave food and desire bad treats and so I never get thinner. It's a vicious cycle. Atleast with the monster and stress, I know that I'm never going to feel well enough to eat a full meal OR be able to keep it in my stomach. What a deal!
Maybe I'll pick up cigarettes, too. I hear those work wonders.
6 comments:
You should have a baby. I dropped about 20 pounds in a week after I had Lizzie. That's unheard of.
Oh, and our jokes are SO not lame! You're lame.
I'm with you - LGN diets don't work - I can't diet, I can't be bulemic because I can't make myself throw up and anorexia is unheard of - so I'm pretty much screwed - maybe I should try having the baby....
Once in high school I noticed that some of my chubby friends were looking rather thin. I found out that they were eating, and then throwing up...Hmmm. Didn't seem all that hard at the time so I decided to give it a try. After dry heaving for about 10 minutes with nothing coming up at all, I quit and as I was washing my face off I noticed that all the pressure from the heaving popped a blood vessel in my eye and I looked like that scarey lady with the red eye. LGNing has never really happened to me so I've just resolved to LOKN and keep eating dessert after dessert :)
You should take a vacation to the gynies. You get action action action.
Ewwww. Who would even say something like that? Grossy, your name is so appropriate.
Carrie Collection - I can't wait for you to be near to us.
Cara - your not trying to hint around at anything, are you? :)
You def need to go somewhere tropical. And I don't get how it's cheaper to go somewhere cool than to go to Utah -- um, not that Utah isn't cool. That's why we're going to Costa Rica. WHOA I just realized I have to do double-time in the LGN category. And that's where my tip comes in -- just start planning a wedding, whether you are getting married or not, and you will stress enough to lose noticeable amounts. WARNING: This method may cause side effects such as major zits and irritability i.e. "bridezilla" behaviors.
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