on awkwardness

It happens to the best of us. You are planning on playing it cool and being "part of the crowd, etc" and you choke. Every time, you do. What, you don't? Bastard. Well...I guess I have my moments.

Whenever I talk to new people I use words and phrases that I would normally never EVER use. Allow me to present to you awkward phrases from Gnomie's closet:

"Will do."
"Alrighty."
"Nice weather, we're having today, eh?"

Ok I can't really think of any else right now, but trust me - I have an arsenal of quips and phrases. I especially suffer from something I'll refer to as "The Chandler Effect". When I first meet people I act like a goof. I don't know why I do it, maybe to help them relax or put myself at ease. But it's not always well received (I don't even understand WHY, my jokes are ALWAYS on par!!).

Anyway (yes, anyway) I'm trying to overcome these habits and just act myself. I guess everyone has a little front they put up, and mine has DEFINITELY fallen down a bit over the years, which I count as a success. OMG, I used to be ridiculous and try to pretend I was somebody I wasn't (ranging from drug-addicted hipster to saintly mother-teresa-esque figure) but I'm normalizing. If that's possible.

School is incredible. I don't even know what to say. So much good, so much difficulty, so...much. And my harddrive crashed today so that SUCKS. But now I get to buy a new computer, which RULES!!