what would you do if i sang out tune?

I feel incredulously ancient. High school was only 6 years ago and I've graduated college, moved several times, worked my way through one crappy job after the next, but I didn't realize how old I actually was until I stumbled upon this little nugget of shock:








Kevin and his wife just birthed a child! Kevin Arnold, longtime lover of Winnie Cooper, best friend geeky Paul with the coke bottle glasses, yes, that Kevin Arnold. I don't know how he found time to get married what with all his nintendo networking and vacations in monster world. Whenever I hear When a Man Loves a Woman I still scrounge up memories of Kevin and Winnie's first kiss.

One of my favorite memories of The Wonder Years was when Older Brother became the recipient of a fresh fling of mashed potatoes on the face, via Kevin. To which Older Brother promptly reciprocated with an appropriate Stink Eye, and this:
"Tonight...while you sleep...pow"*

I should start collecting the DVD's and reimmerse myself in the brilliance that is The Wonder Years.

But it's not only that show that makes me love the Fred Savage. I think it's the entire Savage family, or atleast the male counterpart. Boy meets World is another favorite of mine. Why? Not sure, really. It has all the makings of incredibly bad TV. Overpowering girl seduces the innocent boy, turning his life upside down, meddling in friendship with Self-professed ladies man Best Friend. Who actually had a serious relationship when they were 13? Or 23 for that matter? I would like to have one good solid TV relationship in my life where each "episode" ends happily or atleast with genuine promise of reconciliation. I would need a best friend, preferably gay, who loves to shop and gossip. I would also need a downtrodden, narcissistic friend whose uniform was a surly scowl and a black sweater. Yes, yes I see this shaping up brilliantly.

But getting back to the subject at hand, Kevin Arnold, I guess I secretly am disappointed that we never ended up together. I look remarkably like Winnie. I mean we are both females and we both have brown hair. We both secretly love or have loved Kevin Arnold in our lifetimes. Whenever I watched The Wonder Years, I always felt like Kevin and I had a special connection. He spoke not at me but to me.** He understood the hardships of being a kid in the scary world of adults and older siblings. He understood what True Love was. I marveled at his intensity and his tendencies to find himself in the midst of many an altercation, and pull through A Winner. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. Kevin, just so you know you still can be my boyfriend. I'm not mad about the Other Girl. I can quickly dispose of my Other Half and we can begin the journey of the real Years of Wonder.


*Index finger and thumb form a 90 degree angle as index finger points towards head in gun fashion.
**He did speak directly to me. In the episodes I watched, he always prefeced his ramblings with my name and occasionally would gaze longingly into my eyes through the grainy 13" television set.