I'm getting all verklempt. let me squeeze your tochis!

Have you ever practiced the Jewish faith?
I haven't. But I've come close.
The closest I've ever been to being Jewish was the time I was out on a walk around the neighborhoods of DC. I was walking from M street down to like T street near Georgetown. My friends and I were in search of a falafal place and stumbled upon a bar mitzvah in the middle of the street! A boy was reading from the torah and singing hebrew in the lovely voice of a prepubescent young man. There were people crowded in the streets to witness this. It felt very voyeuristic to be the Christian onlooker, staring at them like they were pandas in the zoo.
The second most closest I've ever come to being Jewish just happened in the past week. I discovered this man:

Matisyahu. He is a Jewish Reggae musician. His lyrics are socially conscious and honest. He makes a connection with his fans. He atleast made a connection with me. Matisyahu was quoted on a Jewish website as saying

"All of my songs are influenced and inspired by the teachings that inspire me. I want my music to have meaning, to be able to touch people and make them think. Chasidism teaches that music is 'the quill of the soul.' Music taps into a very deep place and speaks to us in a way that regular words can't."

The quill of the soul. You don't have to be Jewish to know that is one heck of a declaration.

Pretending to be Jewish is the new pretending to be emocore.
It makes people dance like this:

And make tons of cookies with Jewish names on them:

And pose pretty Jewish girls together with one awkward boy who is definately circumsised. By the looks of it, it might have happened pretty recently. Say, 15 minutes ago.

Sometimes it makes people nervous to be Jewish. Especially when their moms are putting on the pressure. And put the death grip on their sons.

But being Jewish, I would have to say, would be okay overall. Especially if I get to hang out with these kids and join in on all of their very very fun antics.